Hi kids! We got a whole buncha stuff goin' on in the comin' week, which means a blog that's verbose even for us (including our much-anticipated* year-end wrap up: The Year By The Numbers), so let's knuckle under to the brass balls at the meat of this pop stand.
Firstly and obviously most importantly is our totally-not-made-up-while-drinking holiday: Horatio Day! We're celebratin' the birth of our dapper logo dude** in style with a good ol' fashioned Birthday Bash that'll have cake and stickers and some special beers! In addition to our ordinary 12-beer list, we'll be introducin' the world to the Quadless Leg Monster and Shelby and Believer and reintroducin' y'all to vintage El Pulpo! As an added bonus, we got some special commemorative glassware for the event so's you can drink in all kindsa style if you so desire (just be sure to grab yours before we run out - we've got a pretty limited quantity)!
Firstly and obviously most importantly is our totally-not-made-up-while-drinking holiday: Horatio Day! We're celebratin' the birth of our dapper logo dude** in style with a good ol' fashioned Birthday Bash that'll have cake and stickers and some special beers! In addition to our ordinary 12-beer list, we'll be introducin' the world to the Quadless Leg Monster and Shelby and Believer and reintroducin' y'all to vintage El Pulpo! As an added bonus, we got some special commemorative glassware for the event so's you can drink in all kindsa style if you so desire (just be sure to grab yours before we run out - we've got a pretty limited quantity)!
If that don't sound like enough fun to brave the chill out there so you can chill out here then I don't even know what to do with you.
Oh, and by the way, we released a kind-of-a-big-deal beer this past weekend: Life Sentence! It was our 150th batch, so we decided to take the recipe for Wasted Life and make it stronger and triple the hops! Ta da!
A beer that was a giant pain in the ass to make but is ever so much fun to drink.
Movin' on and movin' forward, we've got another dang ol' cask of Pullover ESB goin' on tap this Thursday and I daresay we're pretty stoked to see it back on, because the first one was mighty tasty I tell you what.
Speaking of Thursday, we've got January's installment of Audio Triviality coming up this week! The theme this month is "beer," so it'll be interesting to see how badly we manage to lose despite this being the one topic that we actually know anything about.
Speaking of Thursday, we've got January's installment of Audio Triviality coming up this week! The theme this month is "beer," so it'll be interesting to see how badly we manage to lose despite this being the one topic that we actually know anything about.
I'm sure it will be impressive.
And lastly but not leastly for this coming weekend, we've got the cure for all your post Horatio Day ailments: Spooky Brunch! The only logical follow up to a birthday party for a cartoon skeleton is a Halloween-themed brunch in the middle of winter, so that's exactly what we're doing.
Skull quiche? Check. Skull pizza rolls? Check. Scary good bacon? Check. Heavy metal played at the dulcet tones of elevator music volumes? Always checked.
And! As this is the beginning of the month, we gotta announce the coloring contest winners from December! Check 'em out!
Our lovely runners up!
Our winner, Bridget! (Yes, those are real googly eyes she glued to the page. A+ for mixed media use.
Anyway, now that we've covered everything that's comin' up, it's time for Part Two of our totally-not-self-indulgent retrospective... 2017 by the numbers!
Number of months we thought it would take to get our new tanks up and running: 3
Number of months it actually took: 8
Number of batches brewed: 107
Number of different beers made: 48
Highest number different beers made in one month: 11 (November)
Most commonly brewed flagship: Wasted Life (We brewed it 19 times!)
Number of casks filled: 78
Number of weddings we made beer for: 3
Number of ridiculous alternate-universe Horatios made for glassware at said weddings: sadly just the one (that's our bad, really)
Number of charities we got to make custom glassware for: 2
Number of words written in the blog: 40,312
Number of dumb jokes, on average, per month: 54 (or roughly one per 62 words)
Percent of people reading this who are asking "wait, what jokes?": 75
Least verbose month: April (2,169 words)
Most verbose month: August (5,826 words - we were pretty excited about that birthday party)
Top 3 most commonly used words in August (in order): Beer, party, time
Number of times we used the word "beer" in the blog this year: 273 (not including variations, such as "beers")
Number of times we manged to use the word "spooktacular" in the blog this year: 15
Most commonly used word in the blog (other than "beer"): Sauce***
Hops used, in pounds: 448.9
Number of acres you would need in order to grow that many hops: 0.245
Height, in feet, you would need to grow that many hops on a single plant: 4,420
Grain used, in tons: 11.2
Number of trips Jared had to make to the grain room to haul that much grain out on brewday: 392
Yeast used, in cells (approximate): 557,031,300,000,000
Number of flights poured: 11,126
Number of Big Stupid Cans filled: 1,032
Number of times Tina has been fired for ruining Christmas: 133
Average OG of our beer (in degrees SG): 53
Average ABV of our beer: 5.7%
Highest ABV beer produced: 9.0% (Quaddles)
Lowest ABV beer produced: 3.4% (Believer)
Amount of vodka, in gallons, it would take to make the same amount of alcohol we produced this year: 1,387
Number of months it actually took: 8
Number of batches brewed: 107
Number of different beers made: 48
Highest number different beers made in one month: 11 (November)
Most commonly brewed flagship: Wasted Life (We brewed it 19 times!)
Number of casks filled: 78
Number of weddings we made beer for: 3
Number of ridiculous alternate-universe Horatios made for glassware at said weddings: sadly just the one (that's our bad, really)
Number of charities we got to make custom glassware for: 2
Number of words written in the blog: 40,312
Number of dumb jokes, on average, per month: 54 (or roughly one per 62 words)
Percent of people reading this who are asking "wait, what jokes?": 75
Least verbose month: April (2,169 words)
Most verbose month: August (5,826 words - we were pretty excited about that birthday party)
Top 3 most commonly used words in August (in order): Beer, party, time
Number of times we used the word "beer" in the blog this year: 273 (not including variations, such as "beers")
Number of times we manged to use the word "spooktacular" in the blog this year: 15
Most commonly used word in the blog (other than "beer"): Sauce***
Hops used, in pounds: 448.9
Number of acres you would need in order to grow that many hops: 0.245
Height, in feet, you would need to grow that many hops on a single plant: 4,420
Grain used, in tons: 11.2
Number of trips Jared had to make to the grain room to haul that much grain out on brewday: 392
Yeast used, in cells (approximate): 557,031,300,000,000
Number of flights poured: 11,126
Number of Big Stupid Cans filled: 1,032
Number of times Tina has been fired for ruining Christmas: 133
Average OG of our beer (in degrees SG): 53
Average ABV of our beer: 5.7%
Highest ABV beer produced: 9.0% (Quaddles)
Lowest ABV beer produced: 3.4% (Believer)
Amount of vodka, in gallons, it would take to make the same amount of alcohol we produced this year: 1,387
Love, your humble brewers, Jared and Jimbo.
* By Jared, because he "thinks math is cool."
** Incidentally, he's turning seven, which means he predates the company by a number of years.
*** ...k
** Incidentally, he's turning seven, which means he predates the company by a number of years.
*** ...k
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