​Howdy, all! We got some rootin'-tootin' good times and good tastes lined up for y'all, so we gon' get right in to it!

First and/or foremost: we're hiring! We got full-time and part-time bar gigs available (well, one of each), as well as a sales position (details are on the way for the sales job) - so if you're interested, drop us a line with your resume at info@boneup.beer! You can check out job descriptions on our Jobs page, too!

Back to the beer front for a minute, it's worth a mention that we've got some upcoming fun beers that we made with and/or for our beer friends!

Lastly but far from leastly, we gots to announce the winners of the most recent coloring contest! And we gotta say, y'all really like turning drawings of balloons into drawings of similarly-shaped bits of anatomy. We're pretty impressed, to be honest. ​

​Anyway, here's our winner, followed by the runners-up!

​Howdy, all! It's the blogginest time of the week once again, and we're here to blog you up a blog so bloggin' blog that it'll blog your blogs off!

First and/or foremost, it behooves us to mention that we did indeed tap two dang ol' new beers last week! First up is Loretta, a farmhouse ale brewed with a bunch of hibiscus and then another bunch of hibiscus and maybe another bunch of hibiscus just in case. This beer is so purple that The Grimace tried to hit on it, but it's so tart 'n' sassy that it sent him packin' on back to McDonaldland!

​And then slightly later last weekend, we bid farewell to our beloved Uptown as we (re) bid hello to another big ol' dark beer: Shelby! This one's a smoked stout, brewed to honor the memory of Jared's childhood doggo (who, perhaps unsurprisingly, was named Shelby), and it's smooth and spicy and a touch on the chocolatey-sweet side. 

But gettin' back to the here and now, we'd be remiss if we didn't give you a heads up on what's goin' down this week, so here goes! 

​​First and foremost, we have a snacktacular addition to our bar bites menu! We partnered up with our empanada pals at Buenas to bring you delicious emps every dang day we're open! Woohoo! Our plan is to have a rotating array of flavors that'll switch out every month or so, and we're startin' with a gooey spinach 'n feta emp and Argentinian "humitas": roasted red pepper, corn, cheese, and potato!

Hello again! It's gettin' into the throes of "hide from the weather" season 'round here, but we got just the thing(s) to make you wanna bundle up and brave the elements so's you can hunker down with a pint or three!

First up is our trusty Thursday Cask! This week it's Believer and hoo-wee but that is a beer that's just made to be drunk on cask! It's nice and roasty toasty and full of full-bodied goodness, but it packs a punch so gentle it's more of a "light caress" which means you can drink that sucker by the dang gallon (which we did! Last week!), so come on by and give it a try!

Howdy do, cats and kittens! It's been a head-spinnin' couple weeks around these here parts, so we should probably start off with an IMPORTANT BULLETIN:

Audio Triviality is this week! Instead of last week when it snowed so much that you apparently needed to get up a good head of steam and drive full-force through a snowdrift just to get into our parking lot!* Otherwise all the details are the same as we'd planned: start time is 8 PM ish (usually heavy on the ish) and the theme is Beer!

Awww yis

Now that we've got all that late-breaking news out the way, we'd like to issue a big ol' Thanks to everybody that came out and did things up right on Horatio Day! We'll admit that we were a little concerned that it might not be the best idea to stage our made-up holiday on such a cold-ass day (we didn't know), or in such close proximity to all the name brand holidays, but it was a grand ol' time if we do say so ourselves! We couldn't have done it without you, so thanks for coming out and sharing in our ridiculous holiday - we can't wait until next year!** 

Best cake ever! ThanksJess!

 We had so many beers pouring (17!) we had to make a temporary bar out of our fest setup (we're still sort of amazed we were able to pull it off)!

Friends!

Beer makes you big and strong!

And speaking of Horatio Day, we briefly debuted Believer Dark Mild on that most auspicious of occasions, mostly because we were waiting for a real draft line to free up so we could give him a real home. Well guess what - after all the dust had settled and we stopped finding half-eaten skull pizzas in our hair, Library kicked and ol' Believer went right on that line! Believer is jet-black and full of roasty 'n malty goodness, but super easy-drinkin' and light-bodied. If you enjoyed some of our past dark sessions (like FAO or Black Witow or Ruby Rye or Redeemer), you're gonna love this! And if that weren't enough moderately-exciting news, it's also ​gonna be on cask this weekend (starting on Thursday)! ​

We believe.

Then on Saturday there'll be cupcakes! Lots of them! Made with our beer! So if you missed out on all that sweet sweet cake action on Horatio Day, here's your chance to redeem yourself in front of your friends and loved ones! 

The purest forms of food are the ones that require no utensils.

Oh! And! We made a Movie Friend this past weekend and he shot and put together an awesome video for the brewery (there are some pretty sweet shots of Spooky Brunch in there), and dang if it didn't melt our hearts! Check it out - it's only a minute long.

Thanks, Jay and Natalie! 

Also, we'll be open 12-8 next Monday 1/15 for MLK Day! If you've got the day off from work, come on out and grab a beer with us - nothing says "time off from work" quite like daytime drinking!

* Hi Rick!
**Goals: more crowns, more goblets, more chanting. Probably more beer!

Number of months we thought it would take to get our new tanks up and running: 3
Number of months it actually took: 8

Number of batches brewed: 107
Number of different beers made: 48
Highest number different beers made in one month: 11 (November)
Most commonly brewed flagship: Wasted Life (We brewed it 19 times!)
Number of casks filled: 78

Number of weddings we made beer for: 3
Number of ridiculous alternate-universe Horatios made for glassware at said weddings: sadly just the one (that's our bad, really)
Number of charities we got to make custom glassware for: 2

Number of words written in the blog: 40,312
Number of dumb jokes, on average, per month: 54 (or roughly one per 62 words)
Percent of people reading this who are asking "wait, what jokes?": 75
Least verbose month: April (2,169 words)
Most verbose month: August (5,826 words - we were pretty excited about that birthday party)
Top 3 most commonly used words in August (in order): Beer, party, time

Number of times we used the word "beer" in the blog this year: 273 (not including variations, such as "beers")
Number of times we manged to use the word "spooktacular" in the blog this year: 15
Most commonly used word in the blog (other than "beer"): Sauce***

Hops used, in pounds: 448.9
Number of acres you would need in order to grow that many hops: 0.245
Height, in feet, you would need to grow that many hops on a single plant: 4,420

Grain used, in tons: 11.2
Number of trips Jared had to make to the grain room to haul that much grain out on brewday: 392
Yeast used, in cells (approximate): 557,031,300,000,000

Number of flights poured: 11,126
Number of Big Stupid Cans filled: 1,032
Number of times Tina has been fired for ruining Christmas: 133

Average OG of our beer (in degrees SG): 53
Average ABV of our beer: 5.7%
Highest ABV beer produced: 9.0% (Quaddles)
Lowest ABV beer produced: 3.4% (Believer)
Amount of vodka, in gallons, it would take to make the same amount of alcohol we produced this year: 1,387