** People have left because of it, which he will never stop finding funny
Hello again, friends! We're still shakin' off the last remnants of the ol' Annual Turkey Coma, but we've got a bursting-at-the-seams bottle fridge (with, somehow, unbelievably, more bottle releases on the way in the relatively near future) and a buncha cool popups and events to help ease us back into reality (or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof) and anyway let's get on with it!
SO. MANY. BOTTLES.
First on up, we have the triumphant return of something that almost* nobody's been asking for and that's cask! And this week's cask is a bit of a special somethin' in that this cask is the only time you'll see this particular beer available in our taproom. Well, sort of, anyway. See, our wild fermentation beers (Critters et al.) start out as "normal" beers and every so often we brew something for the sole purpose of gettin' funkified (as opposed to taking an existing beer and cramming it full of Brett, which also happens). Anyway, this particular base beer is a straightforward number with a strong focus on a grain we wanted to get to know a little bit better (specifically Nor'east Gold from Stone Path), so we filled a cask and threw in a handful of one of our favorite hops (namely galena) and it's on tap on Thursday and you should come drink some with us!
(And gaze upon our wonderfully festive taproom while you're here)
And speaking of Thursday, this Thursday is Audio Triviality night! We probably should have mentioned this last week, but we were a bit caught up making jokes about gravy or whatever. Anyway, this month's theme is Satan Claws Comes to Town and it is - as you might expect - Christmas and/or holiday themed!
50/50 Matt shows up decked out as such
Aaaand moving right on further along into the weekend we're kickin' things off strong with the triumphant return of HotChix on Friday! They'll be settin' up shop at six and, if previous visits are any indication (and they might not be, they haven't been here since The Before Times), we'd recommend you get in line early to guarantee yourself some sandwich action!
Then on Saturday we're probably definitely gonna be releasing a super secret can-only beer, but that's really all we can say right now so we'll just move right along to gettin' all giddy about the start of the Holiday Market Series! We're bringin' in local artisans/vendors/whathaveyou all month long (and more often than not we're bringin' in some eats as well) so's you can Shop Local This Holiday Season and anyway the first one is on Saturday and this time around we're bringin' in PolkaDog Bakery! They'll be here from 12-4 with a whole buncha fancy (and, if you're willing to take our dogs' word for it, extremely tasty) dog treats! And if you happen to be peckish on Saturday afternoon we've got new-to-us Kuya's Cooking serving Filipino food from 2-6 and we can't wait to try it!
Definitely better than a Wal-Mart gift card, just sayin'
And moving on to Sunday we're keepin' that Holiday Market train rolling with art from Adam Cutler! You've probably definitely seen his work hanging in our taproom (he designed the Audio Triviality poster and also we've just got a bunch of his stuff up on the walls) and he'll be hangin' out from 12-4! And (on a largely unrelated note) if you wanna learn how to make sushi after you check out some cool art, Chef Harold is back on Sunday for another sushi class!
And since we're in the throes of Holiday Fever it behooves us to drop a little teaser about our upcoming made-up holiday: Horatio Day! Long story short (for those of you not "in the know"), on the weekend of January 7th-9th we'll throwing a birthday party for Horatio, our dapper little logo dude! We'll be tapping a bunch of barrel-aged and/or strong beers (in addition to our already-rad menu) and maybe cracking a bottle or two that we've had squirreled away and we'll probably release a new beer or two on top of all that and there's special merch and a Horatio lookalike contest that usually just results in people being creeped out** by the sight of Jared in skeleton makeup and there's tasty food and probably cake and the point is that it's a damn good time and you should come hang out with us! And if you're the "likes cool glassware" type, we figured we'd "sweeten the deal" by makin' sure you can get your mitts on one of the sweet-ass goblets that we worked up, which is to say we're gonna be starting preorders this Friday! Woo!
2022 brings the glorious return of gold-rimmed goblets
Oh! And! Lastly! We've declared our winner(s) for November's coloring contest! Adequate work, everybody!
* Hi Dan!
** People have left because of it, which he will never stop finding funny
Howdy-do kids and squids! It's nigh-on gobble time and that means we're due for one of the most highly-anticipated (by us) recurring segments on this ol' blog and that's our beer and Thanksgiving pairings! But we'll get to that in due time, because I'm being told that first we need to get through the "actual blog" that "people might want to read" because it's "more useful," which would be a fair point except that I'm pretty sure most of our readership consists of friends of Ben's who skim the text to see if he gets explicitly made fun of this week. But I digress. Onward!
No sass, all sunsets over here
First and/or foremost and/or unsurprisingly there will be no cask this week. It's a bit of a bummer if you're a cask aficionado or whatever, but we're takin' the time to stock up on some tasty-ass cask goodies and we'll be rockin' the beer engine right on schedule with some pretty rad stuff next week, so never you worry!
And moving ever closer to the Turkey Day Festivities is our Shitty Wednesday Bottle Release! The day before Thanksgiving (which we have dubbed Shitty Wednesday for reasons that should be obvious) is pretty much always a hassle and/or a downer so we're tryin' to raise some spirits by releasing a whole crapton of bottles!
We've got some rereleases (barrel-aged Biere de Krampus, Blood of Krampus, Yelling at Birds) and some brand new beers (Menagerie, Ginger Occasion) and a beer that's available to-go for the first time (Critters XIV) and a beer that we definitely didn't lose in the cold room for an embarrassing amount of time (Critters IX) and that's all on top of our already-awesome bottle list (Joybringer, Joyrider, Barrel-aged El Pulpo, The Gargoyle, Funky Life, Squash Everything) and also we're givin' out some sweet glassware if you buy a half case of bottles (or more, obvs) and anyway my point is that there's a whole buncha delicious-ass beer available in bottles and you should come grab some!
Look at that HAPPY fridge
Oh! Also! Since we're re-releasing both of our bottled Krampus beers we thought this would be a fitting time to release our vaguely-XMas-themed merch: Krampus shirts! They're rad as heck and they're available right now!
And! Lastly! On Saturday we've got new-to-us Chef Jems popping up in the taproom with birria tacos!
And now! With all the beer releases and merch and events out of the way, we move on to our annual Beer and Thanksgiving Pairings! What started as poking gentle fun at the weirdness of Thanksgiving traditions (seriously, none of this shit makes any sense at all) has blossomed into a series of "pairings" that range from "inadvisable" to "illegal" but which somehow still won't get you uninvited from next year's dinner, because gathering all your craziest relatives in one room and giving them booze is an Important Tradition. And so, without further ado, and in no particular order, we present to you the 2021 Bone Up Thanksgiving Beer Pairings:
pairs well with... wishing you hadn't eaten so much the previous day
and if you don't have any Extra Naked, we suggest... shame eating
Shut Up Kelly!
pairs well with... ooOOOooh! Somebody brought fudge?!
and if you don't have any Shut Up Kelly, we suggest... trying to convince your elderly aunt to do shots of Allen's Coffee Brandy with you
pairs well with... trying to get out of any and all discussions about politics
and if you don't have any Ginger Spectacular, we suggest... pointing into the middle distance and yelling "what's that!?" and then running away, giggling
pairs well with... constructing increasingly-elaborate forts with your youngest relatives
And if you don't have any El Pulpo, we suggest... acting so erratically at the dinner table that you get banished to the kids' playroom to go watch Dumbo like six times in a row because that's somehow the only movie they have. Again.
pairs well with... compressing, shaping, and re-baking the stuffing to use as hard taco shells
And if you don't have any Joyrider, we suggest... pointing out each dish individually and making the argument that it "technically qualifies as a taco." Really fight to make your point. Make a chart if you have to.
pairs well with... serving people "roulette brownies" where a small percentage of random brownies are completely full of habanero powder.
And if you don't have any Ginger Disco, we suggest... same thing, but throw a couple THC brownies in there too.
pairs well with... making up songs about the foods you're about to eat while you fill your plate
And if you don't have any Joybringer, we suggest... putting on a puppet show wherein you have the turkey carcass stage a Gallagher-style performance and messily smash the giblets with a potato
Blood of Krampus
pairs well with... speaking in rhyme for the entire day
And if you don't have any Blood of Krampus, we suggest... speaking in riddles for the entire day
Barrel-aged El Pulpo
pairs well with... happily shouting
And if you don't have any Barrel-aged El Pulpo, we suggest... angrily shouting
pairs well with... going a little wild on the hors d'oeuvres as a treat. You earned it!
And if you don't have any Funky Life, we suggest... reconfiguring the entire menu so that every item starts with "bacon-wrapped." And I do mean EVERY item. Make a bacon envelope so you can have bacon-wrapped cranberry sauce.
Quadless Leg Monster
pairs well with... saying "you know, in England they refer to this as 'pudding'" every time a new dish gets passed into your hands
And if you don't have any Quadless Leg Monster, we suggest... dipping your turkey in pudding
pairs well with... trying to convince people that turkey and peanut butter really do go well together (which they do)
and if you don't have any The Gargoyle, we suggest... making peanut butter gravy and then fleeing the scene before anyone tastes the abomination you have wrought upon this world
pairs well with... trying to "spice things up" by making your (in)famous ghost pepper sweet potatoes
and if you don't have any Organ Meats, we suggest... removing an item of clothing every time somebody complains about needing to wear a mask when out in public (and/or other covid-related precautions as you see fit)
The Sachem's Ale
pairs well with... seeing how much weird/junk food you can cram into a casserole dish while still being able to convince people it's a "family tradition" (lookin at you, cream-of-mushroom-soup-green-bean-fried-onion casserole)
and if you don't have any The Sachem's Ale, we suggest... making a bunch of those savory Jell-O dishes from the 70s and serving them with a straight face
Yelling at Birds
pairs well with... finding your most tinfoil-hat relative and getting them all wound up about whatever conspiracy theory they're shouting about this month
and if you don't have any Yelling at Birds, we suggest... subtly trying to convince your tinfoil-hat relative(s) that you're one of the Lizard People or whatever
Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus
pairs well with... making a raspberry pie with an Oreo crust
and if you don't have any Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus, we suggest... crushing a bunch of Oreos and making Double Stuff Stuffing
pairs well with... making deep-fried versions of everything. Go all "Midwestern state fair" on your Thanksgiving
and if you don't have any Squash Everything, we suggest... gravy cocktails!
pairs well with... pretending to be interested in watching The Game in order to get out of making small talk
and if you don't have any Emerald Spire, we suggest... getting out of small talk AND sports talk by cornering people into an exhaustive explanation of the recent drama on Spackle TikTok* (repeat as necessary until people are afraid to even make eye contact with you)
pairs well with... making bacon-chocolate fudge
and if you don't have any Menagerie, we suggest... using pâté as frosting on a bunch of cupcakes
pairs well with... deep-fried mashed potato balls
and if you don't have any Green Smoothie, we suggest... making a "deconstructed" Thanksgiving menu where you just replace all the traditional Thanksgiving foods with things that people actually want to eat** (fried chicken instead of turkey, sweet potato fries instead of candied yams, maybe come up with some kind of convoluted explanation for how pizza is "really a stand-in for stuffing and gravy," et cetera).
pairs well with... going all Winnie The Pooh on the cranberry sauce and eating it directly out of the can with your bare hand
and if you don't have any Awkward Conversation, we suggest... dressing like Winnie The Pooh
pairs well with... Bulgarian feta. It has nothing to do with the holiday, but it's a really tasty pairing.
and if you don't have any Critters IX, we suggest... going back to bed.
pairs well with... biting your tongue when somebody asks "so when will you be having kids?"
and if you don't have any Ginger Occasion, we suggest... responding to all uncomfortable questions by saying "you know, that's a funny story" and then telling a very long story that goes nowhere (bonus points if, when people try to get you back on topic and/or change the subject, you say "oh hold on, I'm getting there" and then launch into a completely different pointless story)
pairs well with... volunteering to make the last-minute grocery store run to get out of helping around the house
and if you don't have any Rakau, we suggest... getting the shopping list *ever* so slightly wrong so you have/get to go to the store repeatedly
pairs well with... insistently using the word "damp" in lieu of "moist" when talking about food
and if you don't have any Critters XIV, we suggest... trying to get out of IRL Turkey Day by constructing and sending a "Digital Avatar" that's really just an old iPhone taped to a skateboard
The Horned Beast
pairs well with... trying to carve the turkey with a katana
and if you don't have any The Horned Beast, we suggest... trying to start a hoedown at the dinner table by playing the jug (empty wine bottle) and the spoons (ideally still covered in side-dishes) and insistently trying to convince others to join in and play your "spare fiddle" (you can leave this part out if you only brought one fiddle this year)
* Yes, this is a real thing. Or at least that's what we're told - we learned about it from reading Garbage Day like normal people.
** Some of you are probably saying "you're crazy! I love Thanksgiving food!" And yeah, sure, but if that's really the case then why do you only eat it once per year?
Howdy all! We've got a right-on righteous lineup lined up for all y'all this week, though it might not hardly compete with the seemingly-infinite deluge of beer and good times and friendship and sushi that we've been havin' around here these past couple weeks but that's all good because we gotta take some time to sit and drink a beer in between releasing all these new beers and oh wait oh man oh crap we released a beer a couple days ago and we might have forgotten to tell you so let's get on with it!
But first, SUSHI PIZZA
(Seriously, if you haven't done one of Chef Harold's sushi classes yet, check your priorities)
And on that note, let's talk about Oh My! We had a bit of a hankerin' for some of the styles we were gettin' into back in the good ol' days of yore,* so we cracked open the ol' recipe book and plucked out this ol' west coast (ish) IPA and took a couple "new school" tricks and tweaked up that ol' recipe a bit (a lot. So much) and now it's on tap and in cans!
And it's a good thing that we remembered to shout about Oh My, because that's this week's cask! We took a big ol' buncha comet (which is one of the main hops in the beer to begin with) and gave that ol' cask a double dose and it's gonna be on tap starting on Thursday and you should drink some!
And unlike some of the non-BUBco west coast IPAs we've had of late, this one actually tastes like malt.
Anyway, moving on and moving forward, this week is our Funksgiving dinner with Brato! They're bringin' in some Thanksgiving-style eats and all the foods have been expertly paired with our holiday flight and we might have a surprise musical guest (who might not be a surprise? I don't always see the insta stories) and anyway it's gonna be fun times and tasty times and you should come hang out!
C'mon, how awesome does that menu sound
And speaking of turkey day, we're gonna peer a bit farther into the future all the way up to everybody's (least) favorite day of the year: Shitty Wednesday! And since nobody likes sitting in traffic or relearning just how terrible it is to try and sleep on a convertible sofa or enduring intense, visceral reminders of why they stopped talking to everybody from high school in the first place,** we figured we'd "sweeten the deal" by releasing a buncha cool bottles! We've got at least five releases lined up (including some rereleases of old favorites) and there might be some funky stuff if we're all lucky and anyway you should swing on by:
ALSO AVAILABLE IN BOTTLES!
"Taste the rainbow"
And since we're (still) talking about Thanksgiving and all its concomitant nonsense, we should probably tell you our holiday hours!
Here they are!
And, lastly but hardly leastly, if you're the "planning ahead" type, you may well wanna know about the winter holiday market that we'll be running throughout December! Long story short, we wanted to showcase some local artists and artisans (and also food vendors, who - in our humble opinion - count as both of those things) and also we wanted to help you out with any holiday shopping needs you may have (and/or we wanted to provide "holiday shopping" as an excuse for you to come have beers with us) so we're havin' a buncha local folks set up shop in our taproom on weekends throughout the month and you should come out and support local as you drink local!
* OK fine, Jared kept moping about how he "misses malt" so we made this to get him to shut up.
** Seriously, don't go to a bar in your hometown on Shitty Wednesday. I guarantee you it will be worse than whatever you were trying to avoid by going to the bar.
Ahoy there! We're settin' sail into a new week full of good times and/or tastes and/or whathaveyou and we'd like to offer you a seat aboard the S.S. I Don't Feel Like Continuing This Metaphor Anymore where we'll detail in various amounts of detail the fact that we are Gettin' Real about The Holiday Season. Mostly that means a whole mess of beer releases (including some upcoming barrel-aged stuff. So, so much barrel-aged stuff), but also we've got ever so much fun stuff lined up for you, so read on!
It's quite delicious, if we do say so ourselves!
First up! Remember those two about-to-be-released beers I mentioned last week? Awkward Conversation and The Horned Beast? Well, we released them! They're both available on draft and in cans right now and since these beers are (arguably) holiday(s) themed that means that our Thanksgiving Mixed Pack (which I also mentioned last week, albeit briefly) will be available very soon (as in, pretty much right after El Pulpo gets released) and my point is that we made a bunch of cool stuff and you should try it!
Gobble gobble y'all
Movin' right on along into other things that are good, this Thursday we're tappin' a cask of a new taproom favorite (which was brewed so we could say a proper Goodbye Forever to an old favorite of a hop) and that's Rakau! We didn't dry hop it with Rakau because we used all of our Rakau making the beer itself and I'm not entirely sure what we did dry hop it with because SOMEbody* didn't write it down and I don't feel like getting up to check so it'll be a mystery until we tap it but you can bet that it's gonna be good!
Notes? What notes?
And speaking of Thursday, this Thursday is Simpsons Trivia! This time around, Chris had the extremely clever idea to have the theme be "Season Eleven" because Thursday's date is 11/11 and anyway that's gonna prove to be an interesting time because that's the season when the show starts to go completely off the rails but hasn't hit its full-on "descent into madness" stages yet and I'm rambling but I guess the point is that it's gonna be fun and you should come!
Anyone's guess as to what horrible prizes Jared will pull out of the box this week!
And while we're on about fun things that you should come to, this weekend is Pulpo Day! Starting on Friday we're releasing our beloved winter seasonal - a chocolate orange imperial stout that goes by the name of El Pulpo - and we're puttin' on some ballyhoo to celebrate! This year's version of El Pulpo will be available on tap and in cans and in crowlers and growlers and we'll have this year's barrel-aged El Pulpo (aged in Wigle rye barrels) on tap and in bottles and we'll be tapping some cellared vintages of El Pulpo (both barrel-aged and otherwise) and we'll have some limited bottles of those vintages as well and it's gonna be a good time and you should come!
We haven't *not* been dipping into the stash all week... just to make sure it's good...
And since we've gotten into the habit of taking our fake holidays and stretching them into several-day affairs, the Pulpo Day festivities continue into Saturday! It's pretty much the same deal on Saturday what with all the cool cellared beers available on tap and/or in bottles, only we'll also have food (courtesy of the Nada Cart)!
And since it's apparently not enough for us to have a days-long fake holiday this weekend, we've also got some largely-unrelated events happening!
Pulpo Time! And some other stuff!
First up, on Saturday at 10:30 in the dang morning is goth yoga! We're bringin' in a new-to-us yoga teacher who'll be leading you through some yoga while you listen to Depeche Mode and The Cure! And then afterwards you can hang out and drink some beers while listening to music that is almost definitely not going to be Depeche Mode or The Cure unless Matt figures out the password to our taproom radio again.
And then on Saturday evening we're gonna be part of the first virtual event that we've done in a good long while but it's for a good cause and that cause is the Hartshorne House! We'll be leading you through some beer and cheese pairings (more to the point, the beers will be that Thanksgiving Mixed Pack I mentioned earlier, minus the optional bottle of Squash Everything) and there'll be some local historical tales (provided by somebody who actually knows history, not by us) and if that sounds like your cuppa tea you should join us!
Ticket sales close TODAY, so grab 'em now: Beer and Cheese Pairing
Moving right along through the weekend and beyond, we've got more cooking classes on the schedule since y'all seem to be diggin' 'em! Sushi making is back on Sunday and also next Wednesday and Ten Types of Handmade Pasta is in the house on Tuesday and there's probably definitely more after that but we try to keep things more-or-less focused on the "here and now" in this ol' blog so that's it for now!
Chef Harold brings it for his sushi class! Grab tickets here: Sushi Making 101
But since we *are* rambling on a bit about Future Times, it behooves us to bring up our upcoming Funksgiving beer dinner next Friday with Brato! We'll be doing an in-person dinner with an a la carte-style Thanksgiving-themed food menu and a paired flight (which - you guessed it - is based off of our Thanksgiving Mixed Pack), or if you wanna have your pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner at home you can preorder the food as a meal kit which comes with the same beers, only in can/bottle form this time!
Check out this awesome menu for the taproom pop up:
Awkward Conversation - cranberry orange grisette
The Horned Beast - hazy IPA
Squash Everything - Belgian golden strong ale brewed with butternut squash and aged in apple brandy barrels
El Pulpo - chocolate orange imperial stout
POP UP MENU $17 per plate
Beer brined roast turkey porchetta (white and dark meat)
Choice of three of five sides:
Pumpkin and cider donut stuffing
White truffle, mushroom, and green bean casserole w/fried garlic chips
Apple and cheddar mac 'n cheese
Smoked carrots with browned butter and sage
Miso butter cornbread
And if we're peerin' even farther into the future we'll see a sneak peek of all those barrel-aged beer releases I talked about! We've got a whole pile of cool beer releases (including the return of some old favorites) scheduled for the day that everyone loves to hate: Shitty Wednesday! Many peoples' Thanksgiving plans involve sitting in traffic for hours on end on this particular Wednesday (which is often followed by the totally-not-uncomfortable experience of going to a bar in your hometown and seeing a bunch of people you went to high school with, only to be immediately reminded of why you didn't keep in touch in the first place) so we figured we'd give y'all a little something to brighten your day and that means bottles! I'll save the full release schedule for next time, since this is pretty much the world's longest teaser, so keep them eyes peeled!
Howdy-do, camperoos! We've got a schedule packed fulla hella cool stuff and a fridge jam-packed fulla cans and bottles and crowlers (remember crowlers? We still fill them! How else you gonna get that sweet Green Smoothie action in the comfort of your own home?) and some teasers for future stuff and also a whole heck of a lot of tasty beer, so check out all this stuff we got goin' on!
First on up is something that's neither beer nor fun event, but is nonetheless important, which is to say that we've got flannels! Right now! We changed things up a bit this time around and went "back to our roots"* and now we've got some sweet new swag! And even better - they all have pockets! I mean, most flannels have pockets, but some of these have secret pockets! Check 'em out!
Not pictured: secret pockets
Anydangways, movin' right on in to beer, we got a brand spankin' new barrel-aged beer and it's called The Gargoyle and it's available in bottles right now (and it'll be on tap at some point or other) and you should drink some!
(Please don't sue us, Stone Brewing. We just really like naming our beers after creatures)
And speaking of beer, we've got a couple new releases that are just around the corner and they're gonna be part of our sweet-ass vaguely-Thanksgiving-themed mixed-pack!
It's gobble time, bitches!
First on up (which is to say, on draft and in cans soon) is Awkward Conversation! We spent a while trying to think up Thanksgiving and/or general end-of-year holiday beer themes and we were comin' with nothin' short of bupkis until we realized that we needed to look towards the true meaning** of The Holiday Season: putting on uncomfortable clothes and forcing yourself to make small talk with a bunch of people that you see once a year! And since beer is the perfect thing to fill the (many, many) awkward silences you'll get to endure, we brewed up a tasty' lil' grisette and crammed it fulla cranberry and orange purees and soon you'll be able to drink some!
Good taste? Good taste!
And the next new beer slated for that ol' Holiday Mix Pack is an IPA (because this is AMERICA) and it's called The Horned Beast and the name/concept for this beer is based around us definitely having a firm grasp of all the subtle nuance around this "giving of thanks" holiday and it absolutely isn't us making up a bunch of weird crap because there's no real way to combine the concepts of "Thanksgiving-themed" and "IPA." Anyway this beer features a buncha local grains and some local hops and it's damn good and you'll be able to drink some soonish!
And while we're still goin' on about beer, it behooves us to mention that this week's trusty Thursday cask is gonna be Shut Up Kelly! And since we don't feel like ol' Kelly needs any funny business to be straight-up tasty times on cask, we didn't throw in any funny business and it's gonna be tasty times!
Big yum right here
And if you're lookin' for something to do while you sip on some smooth cask goodness, this Thursday it's once again time for Audio Triviality! And since this month's theme is "Motörhead" we figured we'd try and bring in some thematically-appropriate eats and boy howdy did we ever because we got Bonetown BBQ in the house and I'm pretty sure they're gonna have a Motörhead-themed menu and it's gonna be a ton of fun and you should come hang out!
Spoiler alert: every answer is "Lemmy"
And speaking of metal and hanging out and fun times, we totally forgot to give a shout-out to the folks from Dzö-nga for comin' out for the beer release shindig a little ways back! It was a whole buncha fun - we got to hang out and drink some beers and listen to some good tunes and (on a slightly more selfish note) we got to meet people from a couple other rad metal bands (some of whom we may well be collabin' with in the nearish future, so keep them eyes peeled) and also Jared wrote himself a note to "check out that ren faire sea shanty metal band they sound rad" which almost definitely isn't as informative as he thought it was at the time but anyway it was a great time and we hope to do it again soon!
Sometimes our jobs are cool
But getting back to the ol' "here and now" (or at least closer to it), this Friday we've got a new-to-us popup joining us in the taproom which means we're gonna get to have Birria Tacos with Chef Jems! We ain't never had us no birria tacos in the taproom before, so we're darn excited to get to try them in a couple days. Darn excited!
And moving right along a little further into the weekend, our very own in-house photographer Matt (AKAed as Bananamasher, also AKAed as our heavy metal trivia guy) will be doin' some pet photography on Sunday! We're booking 15-minute time slots for each pet (or set of pets) so things shouldn't get too chaotic and there's only a couple left so sign on up if you want some snazzy pet photos! There's a couple spots left, so grab your spot here: Pet Photo Booth
...aaand taking things a bit further past this coming weekend, we gots to let you know that we're yet again hosting some cooking classes next week! We've got Sushi Making next Tuesday and Ten Types of Handmade Pasta on Wednesday and the classes are fun as hell and you should come!
And since I'm talking about next week anyway I might as well mention that next Thursday is the next round of Simpsons Trivia and since it's gonna be on 11/11 our dashing host figured that the theme would be Season Eleven! Anyway it's a buncha fun and you might win some extremely stupid prizes (and maybe some good ones, but that's less likely) and you should come on out!
P.S. You should totally check out our site's new Upcoming Events page for all the Fun Things happening over the next couple of months! Thanks for finally nudging us to get this live, Amy!
And lastly but not leastly for the big ol' events happening next week: Pulpo Day is coming! We're ever so fond of our seasonal chocolate orange stout, so we're throwin' a bit of a shindig for its release! We'll have this year's El Pulpo on draft and in cans (obviously, or this wouldn't really be much of a thing) and we'll have this year's barrel-aged El Pulpo in bottles and/or on draft (unless something goes horribly awry with the barrels at the last minute) and we'll be bustin' out some vintage pulpo (both barrel-aged and otherwise) on draft and/or in bottles and since that's a whole heapin' lot of stuff we're makin' this a two-day thing next Friday and Saturday and it's gonna be a good time! (Oh and also there's gonna be Goth Yoga on Saturday morning, which is unrelated but also sounds pretty rad)
My goodness, is it Pulpo Time already?
It is indeed!
And I've already rambled way too much for one dang blog post so I'll just tack on a quick note to check out the sweet deets on our Funksgiving dinner that we're doin' with Brato! Click the picture to check out the menu and/or place a preorder!
Why, yes, I did have to Google what porchetta is
Oh! And! I almost forgot! We pored over the October coloring contest submissions and it was a doozy of a time picking just one winner because of all the extremely adequate submissions but we did pick a winner and here's all the winners and/or runners-up!
Adequate work, Allie!
* We bought a moderately-concerning number of shirts from Costco and had somebody embroider our logo on them. That's how we used to roll back in the day, and we liked Costco's flannel selection this year so we brought it back.
** Obviously the real true meaning of the season is free ham, but this is close enough.
Howdy friends! The most spooktacular time of year is upon us and we got a whole weekend fulla spooky sweets and eats and good beer and good times galore, so check out all this cool stuff we're doing for you!
Including, but not limited to, blending a fuckton (possibly two fucktons!) of new barrel aged beers for you!
But first! We wanted to announce (or re-announce, I guess) the winners of last week's dog costume contest! We had a whole bunch of completely adorable entries which meant that we had a super hard time narrowing down the winners (and we may have declared an extra winner or two because of that) but anyway here they are:
Sprouts as Bone Up's #1 Fan - "Best Pandering to the Judges"
Ozzy as a Summer BBQ - "Best Group Costume"
Pumpkin as her owner Josh - "Best Josh Costume"
Rivers as the Skeleton Crew - "Best Skeleton Theme"
For all the very adorable entries, check out the featured story on Instagram that we made!
Aaaaand then we gotta take a quick detour away* from Spooktacular City for a quick backtrack to Beer Town! More to the point, we've got Joybringer and its barrel-aged cousin Joyrider back in bottles! As of, um, several weeks ago, because we kinda-sorta forgot to tell you (which is weird because they're some of our favorite beers and we're quite excited to have them back) but the real point is that they're available right now and you should drink them!
Double tripel threat
And while we're talking about beer, we've got a very special spooktacular cask for you this Thursday! It features a relatively new addition to the draft list (Emerald Spire) with a hop we've grown quite fond of (Triple Pearl)! Emerald Spire is hella tasty and we're bettin' that the punchy orangey notes brought in by Triple Pearl will liven it up even more and anyway it gon' be good!
OOooooOOOooo, spooky! Sorta.
OK fine, we didn't think to make a special Halloween cask and Kelly isn't on cask until next week.
And speaking of the spooktacular, we'll be doin' our (mostly)** annual spooktacular beer and candy pairing all weekend! We went through the grueling task*** of pairing each of the beers on our draft list with two different Halloween candies (one chocolate, one non-chocolate) and now you get to reap the benefits of our pain! We've got some special beer-and-candy pairing flights available (and if we didn't name one of them The Tooth Destroyer we really missed an opportunity there) and anyway it starts on Thursday and runs through the weekend so you should come out!
We did the research, y'all get to reap the benefits
And then movin' right along to Friday we're doin' another hell night! We're bringin' in our pals from brato for some spooktacular spice and they're bringin' the heat with a menu chock full of super spicy stuff!
Also on Friday we've got a spooktacular book signing! Local author and friend of the brewery Michael Cloherty wrote Abel Bodied: Murder at the Malden Bank which tells the tale of a bank robbery gone deadly wrong (and which happens to be the first bank robbery murder in the country) and he'll be in our taproom selling and/or signing copies!
And speaking of Friday and/or Saturday, this weekend we're doin' up a trick-or-treat-themed event with our friends from the fermentation district (and beyond)! All the Everett breweries (and the lone distillery in town) will be doin' beer and candy pairings and givin' out swag and there'll be some of those passport cards you can get stamped at every location and it's gonna be a good time, so come on out and trick or treat - "adult style"!****
And just in case you didn't get enough sweets by Sunday, or if you're lookin' for something fun to do on Halloween Itself, we're bringin' in our friends from TC Scoops to set up a sundae bar! This one really doesn't need much explanation except that we should point out that we regularly dream about their apple pie ice cream. It's so good, you guys!
Come get candy-drunk!
And! Lookin' a little further into the future, next Thursday is the next installment of Audio Triviality! And since Matt wasn't super keen on trying to make an entire trivia night that ties together the concepts of "Thanksgiving" and "heavy metal" (since, let's be serious, there are only so many metal songs about ham) he decided that it would be all Motörhead! So come on out and test your knowledge of Lemmy and, uh, the other people that were probably in the band (we're probably gonna lose even harder than we usually do) and drink some beers and hang out with us! Bonetown BBQ will be slingin' delectable dinner options all night, so come by early if you wanna eat!
* I mean, unless you consider "forgetting things" to be spooky. The steady march of time and its attendant age-related foibles is certainly no laughing matter. Except when it is.
** We... kind of completely dropped the ball one year. 2017 was chaotic to say the least.
*** I know I say this every year, but it's not nearly as fun as it sounds. Everybody leaves the table feeling pretty gross and - at least judging from the lack of eye contact among literally anyone at the end of the session - maybe a little ashamed of themselves.
**** We... we were not the ones who named this event.
Howdy-do camperoos! We got us a rootin'-tootin'-sure-shootin' roundup o' spooktacular good times and good tastes, so pull up an internet and see what we got goin' on!
First on up - this Thursday - is our trusty weekly cask! We thought it would be the best of times to take a House Favorite on cask (namely Extra Naked) and "goose it up" with a little bit of a "newcomer" to the ol' hop fridge (namely Emerald Spire) and wouldntcha know it but we've got a tasty tipple on our hands! This tasty lil' sucker's goin' on tap in a day or so and when it's gone it's gone, so we dang well recommend gettin' while there's gettin' to be got!
And then on Friday we don't have any new beers (for once), but we do have some tasty-ass pastelitos gracing our taproom (courtesy of our friends at Matilda's), so you should come on out and show some love!
Then on Saturday we're straight-up triplin' down on events and that all benefits you so check it out!
First and/or foremost, on Saturday we're hosting our Howl-o-ween Costume Contest! We may be a minute away from Hallows Eve, but still we beseech you to bring your dolled-up pups to compete in our costume contest! We're gonna have treats and toys and we're partnerin' up with a rescue and there'll be people food (which we'll get to in a minute) and it's honestly gonna be the cutest thing you'll see in a dang ol' while so come on out and check it out!
And if you're maybe not the "dog treats for lunch" type (understandable), we're gonna have The Nada Cart poppin' up all day to provide tasty eats for all the "human companions" (and/or "normal people") that are hangin' out! It's win win!
And while we're talkin' about Saturday, on Saturday evening, we're hosting our new friends from Dzö-nga for a release party! You may recall that we made a beer for/with them that came out a week or so ago,* but we didn't really get to shout/party about it, so now we're gonna shout/party about it! The band is gonna come by and we're gonna listen to their music for the evening and we're gonna drink some Sachem's Ale with them and it's gonna be a good time! They've also hinted that they might play a song or two, but only - and I'm reading between the lines here - if they "get badgered by a bunch of drunk people." So you know what to do!
Anyway. Moving on from metal friends, this Sunday we've got another cooking class! And - you guessed it - it's the far-and-away most popular cooking class that we've hosted: sushi making! At this point, we don't even need to try and jazz you up on this class because everybody who takes it ends up loving Chef Harold and also he gives us free soup and also he's kind of the nicest person? Anyway, the sushi class is probably definitely a lot of fun, which is good because we're hosting it again on Wednesday too!
Grab sushi tickets here: Sushi Making 101
And speaking of things that are fun, we've got the return of another fun-as-hell cooking class on Tuesday and that's Ravioli Techniques! And while it might not have the apparent "zazz" that you expect from a cooking class at a brewery, every post-class attendee that we've talked to has left the class with a newfound love/appreciation for ravioli and honestly that's pretty incredible. Seems like it would take a lot to get people excited about ravioli,** but they pull it off and it seems like a buncha delicious fun!
Grab ravioli tickets here: Ravioli Techniques
And that's about it for the current week but if you want to read about all the stuff we got goin' on next then oh dang oh man we gotta catch our collective breath a bit because
-On Thursday (October 28) (also known as "not this Thursday") we're startin' up our beer and candy pairing! Long story short: beers (particularly those in our Halloween Flights) will be paired with their "candy soulmate(s)" for the weekend.
-On Friday (October 29) we'll be doin' Inferno Night with Brato! And since that more-or-less amounts to a buncha spicy food (with beer) (and also with candy) we figured we'd invite our friend Michael Cloherty in to do a signing for his (relatively) recently-released book: Abel Bodied!
-And if that weren't enough for ya, we're also collaboratin' with our Everett contemporaries (Aeronaut Cannery, Short Path Distilling, Night Shift Brewing, and Bearmoose) to do a good-ol'-fashioned neighborhood bar crawl! On Friday and Saturday (October 29-30) we'll all be doin' neighborhood drink passports and candy pairings (and pastelitos of course) and giveaways and all sortsa fun times and you should come!
-And. AND. Just in case you're burned out on/overwhelmed by all the Halloween Madness that's goin' on out there, next Sunday (October 31) we're bringin' in our friends from T.C. Scoops to do a full-on Halloween sundae bar! To be perfectly honest with you, you're missing out if you haven't had their ice cream yet. It is - at worst - fantastic, and this is one of the last times of the year to getcha some, so come getcha some!
* Not gonna lie, my sense of time is messed up enough that I'd believe you if you told me we released that beer six months ago. Or six hours. Things have been weird lately, okay?
** Not unlike that one Simpsons episode where a yo-yo demonstration gets all the students to be extremely excited about yo-yo-ing for like a week
Howdy friends! We're back in action with the spooktacular suds and good times galore so read on and read up!
We predict this will be one helluva chocolate bomb
First on up is the continued continuation of our weekly Thursday cask program and this week it just so happens to be one that we're damn excited about. DAMN excited. Anyway I won't bury that ol' lede any further because sooner or later you're gonna figure out that it's Sato! This beer quickly became a favorite of ours (and, to be perfectly frank, we've been flying through it, which means that a buncha y'all agree with us on that one) and now we get to try it on cask!
Come win silly prizes, all while berating Chris!
And while we're talkin' about spooktacular good times on Thursday, this Thursday also brings the return of Simpsons trivia! Yes indeedy, it's been a dang ol' while but Chris is takin' up his post behind the mic once more and gettin' right back on that horse with the spooktacular return of Brewhouse of Horror! As you might have guessed, it's laser-focused on the Treehouse of Horror episodes of The Simpsons and there's gonna be good times and goofy prizes and beers and laughs and friendship and you should come!
Mystery beer, for your helf
But bringin' things back to beer for a hot second, we've got some new beer! It's been a hot minute since we brewed a "misfit IPA" (where we gather up all our odds 'n ends from the bottom of the hop freezer and throw them all into one beer) so we brewed a misfit IPA! We named it Green Smoothie Redux as a nod to the first time we brewed this silly-ass beer* and it's on draft soon. Probably today! Unless something goes wrong! Anyway it's got like thirty different hops in it and Justin is still mad at me for making him write them all down, so enjoy!
Just a happy lil' pale ale. Nothing more, nothing less.
But wait! I have more beer to talk about! In a spate of spooktacular serendipity, we've got another new beer coming out on draft this week! Probably Friday! This one's a pale ale we brewed with a relatively-new-to-us hop named Emerald Spire whose beguilingly fruity aromatics managed to capture our hearts and/or imaginations when we used it in a cask a little ways back. Anyway it's tasty and you should have some!
And speaking of things that are tasty, we got some tasty eats lined up for the weekend - check 'em out!
Oh! And! Since y'all seem to be diggin' on the cooking classes, we're hosting more cooking classes! We've got sushi making coming up on Tuesday and Ten Types of Pasta on Wednesday and they're hella fun and you should come join us!
Buy sushi class tix here: Sushi Making 101
Buy pasta class tix here: Handmade Pasta Class
She LOVES her pig costume
And did somebody say "spooktacular?" No? Oh. Well if you're lookin' for some spooktacular good times a little farther in the future, you might be interested to know that our Howl-o-ween dog costume contest is on Saturday 10/23! We're teamin' up with Harvey's Hope Rescue to raise some cash (we'll be donating $1/pour during the event, so all you have to do is show up and drink for a good cause!), plus we'll be givin' out prizes to the best-dressed pooches and also The 'Nada Cart will be there with some tasty eats and it's gonna be a good time!
* No, it's not the same recipe as the original Green Smoothie. We don't KNOW the recipe, that was the point.
Well hello again! I hope you're having a spooktacular week! We've got a buncha spooktacular stuff lined up for y'all and also maybe some Boring Admin Stuff to get out of the way first so let's cut to the jib of the brass tacks!
And by brass tacks, we mean AXES
And I know I said I was gonna get the boring shit out of the way, but I'm too excited about cask! So let's talk about cask!
We will tap a cask this week and it will be good. That is all.
Seriously though, this Thursday we're tappin' a spooktacular cask of Sunday Plans! You may have overlooked this tasty little number on our menu because amber ales are kind of Old Man Beer, but that is a mistake because this beer is delicious and we threw a buncha Olde Schoole Hops in there (specifically chinook and comet) and - as previously mentioned - it will be good! Very good!
Get ready for us to play, like, way too much Misfits and Helloween
And if you're lookin' for some spooktacular good times while you're drinkin' that cask, this Thursday is also this month's installment of our music-themed trivia night: Audio Triviality! Matt's got a buncha Halloween and/or music-related questions lined up for ya and we've probably got some thematically-appropriate stupid prizes (although we almost definitely gave away that bag of skulls we had kickin' around) and it's gonna be fun and you should come!
Anyway while we're talkin' about Thursday, this Thursday is the first day of our new winter hours! Long story short, now we open at 3 instead of 12 on Thursdays because lunch beers are less popular when it's cold out.
And speaking of it being cold out, your hands will thank you for using these lovely little can sweaters.
And speaking of it being October, for the month of October we're running a Spooktacular Crowler Deal! Or something! We felt like crowlers* weren't getting the love they deserve, so for the month of October (and/or while supplies last) all crowler purchases come with a crowler-sized koozie! Now you can walk around with a comically-large can of beer in style.
And since we're talking about beers on draft, we've got a new beer on draft coming out this week! Possibly today! This one's called Meesh Meesh and it's made with pink guava and apricot ("Meesh Meesh" is Hebrew for "apricot," or at least that's what we've been told**) and it's a collab with a Friend Of The Brewery who owns and/or operates an unknown (but fairly large) number of restaurants. Seriously, we asked him and he was not able to give us a number.*** Anyway, a lot of this beer will end up on tap at one of more of those restaurants (most notably Simcha - an Israeli restaurant in Sharon whose menu sounds incredible) but also we get to serve a bit, so come grab some!
You deserve it, you made it through another week
And moving right on into the weekend we've got the return of two Taproom Favorite popups - Matilda's Pastelito's on Friday and Mr. Tamole on Saturday! We've already said a million jillion great things about Matilda's because they're awesome people and their food is very very good, but also we feel like we have a moral obligation to tell you how good Mr. Tamole's mole chicken is. We're honestly considering getting a strait jacket for Jared so he doesn't fugue out and go full-on Garfield on all of it. It's... it's just so good, you guys.
And while we're talkin' about Future Fun, we've got some fun! In the future! More to the point, we've got a couple events comin' up next week that happen to be happenin' around Blog Post O'Clock so we figured we'd give you the skinny on the deets a bit early!
It's like our coloring contest, but fancy!
First on up, next Wednesday, we've got our friends from Sip & Script comin' in to host a calligraphy class! We honestly don't know a ton about calligraphing**** but it sounds like a bunch of fun, and that's coming from somebody whose handwriting is "people assume I have neurological problems" levels of bad. Anyway it should be fun so you should come!
Grab tickets here: Sip & Script Calligraphy
If you were wondering, yes, we will be working the word "spooktacular" into as many paragraphs as possible
And next Thursday we've got another spooktacular trivia night! If you're less the "metalhead" type and more the "obsessive Simpsons fan" type (which are, admittedly, two very specific types that honestly overlap more than you'd think), you should come on out! We've got Chris back in the house with his Simpsons-themed trivia for the first time in a year and a half and it's comin' back strong with the spooktacular Brewhouse of Horror! It's gonna be a buncha fun and winners may or may not end up winning some weird crap that we bought at Chuck E Cheese during the worst part of the pandemic (sorry, the worst part so far) but either way you should come on out!
@chambersmaddy, “Ben Madore,” @allieabbott @punkgoesweab @rbattino @amykeating
Oh! And! Lastly! We've got winners and runners-up from last month's coloring contest! Adequate work, everyone!
* For legal reasons we're supposed to call them "crowler-style cans." But for not-sounding-like-dipshits reasons, we don't do that.
** Due to our policy of not looking things up, we have not looked this up.
*** When trying to come up with this number he kept saying things like "...and that's another concept I'm involved in" and we were too polite to ask him what the hell he means by "concept" in this context, because we really don't know.
**** I don't... what's the verb for "calligraphy?"
Howdy-do! We've got a week jam-packed fulla tasty beer and treats and friendship or whatever and we ain't really got a tonna jive to talk* so let's get to it!
And first on up is another dang ol' cask! This time around it's yet another house favorite** beer to drink on cask and that means Extra Naked! This time around we dry hopped that sucker with Bitter Gold, the delicious-but-unfortunately-named hop that was front-and-center in our tasty-ass grisette Merry Go Round (rest in peace, you delicious bastard)! Anyway, it's gettin' tapped on Thursday and it's gonna be good!
Hello, we are now Adjunct Brewing Company, let us peddle our wares
And speaking of beer that's good (aren't we always?), we kinda-sorta forgot to tell you last week that we re-brewed Ginger Spectacular! Anyway you all know and/or love that beer and even if you don't it's got a pretty descriptive name (there's ginger in it, and it is spectacular. Nuff said) and my point is that it's on tap and in cans right now!
But wait! There's more! In addition to all these new-ish beers, we've got some New new beers and the first one is The Sachem's Ale! This here's a collab between us and new-to-us band Dzö-nga and it's packed fulla pineapple and peach and it's quite the treat! Also of note, we know Dzö-nga because they showed up at the bar one day and gave us a CD and said something to the general effect of "we heard you guys like to do collab beers with metal bands, so maybe you'd like to make a beer with us?" And oh man, that is absolutely the kind of thing that we want to encourage, so we brewed the heck out of a beer with/for them and you'll be able to get some on Friday!
And speaking of new, tasty beers that you can get on Friday, we're releasing yet another new, tasty beer on Friday! This one is also a collab beer that we jammed a whole buncha stuff into. Only this is a stout with a little bit of cocoa and cinnamon and some ancho and pasilla peppers (which are pretty firmly on the "flavor" side of the spectrum instead of the "heat" side) and instead of a band we collabed with Rock'n Rescue, an organization in North Reading that finds forever homes for Puerto Rican street dogs (known as "satos")! Anyway the beer is called Sato (go figure) and it's gonna be in cans on Friday (and quite possibly on cask in the near future) and a portion of the proceeds for this beer will go to Rock'n Rescue and anyway you should drink some!
Deliciousness awaits you (along with some stellar fall weather)
Oh! And we've got food this weekend! Check out the deets above (and also keep in mind that Speakeasy strongly suggests preordering (by EOD tomorrow) if you want to make sure you get what you want)!
Get ready for us to blare the Misfits all night
And! Lastly! It behooves us to point out that next Thursday is the next installment of our music-themed trivia - Audio Triviality - and this one's gonna be Halloween themed! We've missed trivia dearly while it was gone, so we're super jazzed to hang out and answer a bunch of weird questions that sit in the liminal space between "Halloween" and "music" and then give out a bunch of extremely stupid prizes and anyway you should come join us because it's gonna be a ton of fun!
* We still, on the regular, thank Hops that we don't have to deal with a new set of drastic, half-baked, poorly-communicated, covid-related rule changes every damn week.
** As you might imagine, Team Extra Naked and Camp Kelly are locked in constant, bitter dispute over which is superior. It's slowly turning into some Montague/Capulet shit over here.
Jared and Jimbo will tell you some things, sometimes.