First up, on Thursday, is 2019's first installment of Audio Triviality! We don't know the theme just yet, so we'll assume it's something like "still kind of ashamed I tried to drink a bathtub full of mojitos on new year's" or something like that. (Editor's note: it's Sex, Drugs, & Rock 'n Roll, but sure, let's go with mojito shame. Close enough.)
And to go with all the Triviality, we're tappin' what is one of our personal favorite beers on cask: Extra Naked! And to "kick things up a notch," we tossed in a fistful o' citrusy, cedary Chaos! That's definitely a coincidence and not some kind of commentary on how we think the new year is going to go.
Horatio's our dapper logo dude, and we're throwing him a birthday party! In short this means we'll be tapping a bunch of cool beers - rare stuff, barrel-aged stuff (lots of barrel-aged stuff, as it were), stuff we've been hangin' on to in our cellars, and maybe a couple new things!
How many beers will be on tap?
If everything goes to plan, we'll have twenty three beers on tap! There's our standard draft list (which is twelve beers, and we got kind of excited and put a couple Horatio Day beers on there already. Hello, Ginger Extraordinaire!), plus the cask, plus ten more lines full of cool stuff!
Of course! Who do you think you're talking to? We've got fancy gold-rimmed glasses again this year if you wanna drink in style all day (we did order more this time around, but we still expect them to go pretty quickly), or if you've got a Year Two anniversary mug you can bring that and we'll fill that for you, and there's gonna be cake (there's always cake), and there's a Horatio costume contest!
Wait, there's a costume contest?
Hell yeah! What better way to celebrate somebody's birthday than dressing up like them? Anyway, you know how costume contests work - come dressed as Horatio and tag us on the Instagrams (use the hashtag #horatioday2019) and we'll give prizes to the winners!
You gonna have food at this shindig?
Of course! The Bacon Truck is gonna set up in the taproom from noon 'til six, then we're having a Mac 'n' Cheese competition between Brato and Bonetown starting at six! So if you wanna get fed, you gon' get fed.
Will the new side of the taproom be open?
Sadly, no. That's a whole long story that we'll get into some other time, but suffice to say it's still being considered an "active worksite" which means we ain't allowed to use it even though it's pretty much all set up and ready to go.
What's the story with the fancy glassware?
We've got fancy glassware! That's, um, kinda it, really. Basically we got cool gold-rimmed glasses, and if you want to you can buy one and drink out of a fancy gold-rimmed glass all day (or you can buy one and take it home with you, whatever you like). We ran out of these pretty quickly last year, so we got twice as many this time around, which either means we'll still run out before 2 PM, or we'll have them on hand until July. Time will tell!
2018 by the Numbers
Number of double batches: 13
Amount of beer packaged, in gallons: 11,246
Number of flights that would fill: 71,972
Percentage of total volume actually served in flights: 12%
Number of different beers released: 60 (49 if you don't count flagships or other re-releases)
Number of collaboration beers: 26
Highest number of new beers released in one month: 6 (tie between June and November)
Number of Key Lime batches made: 14 (three of which were double batches)
Number of key lime pies that could have been made with that lime juice instead: 544
Number of actual key limes it would take to produce that much juice: 10,445
Percentage of Joybringer that was produced exclusively for fun barrel projects: 42%
Number of times Jared thought he was super clever by singing "Ode to Joybringer" on these brewdays: like six
Number of funky beers aging at the beginning of the year: 0
Number of funky beers aging currently: 9 (or rather, 9 variations from a stock of 4 base beers)
Amount we previously expected that we'd be doing cool shit like this after just two short years: 0%
Percentage of hops that came from local suppliers: 43%
Percentage of hops that came from Michigan, of all places: 10%
Most used hop variety: Cascade (though it's Galena if you consider Masscade to be separate from Cascade)
Height, in feet, that you would need to grow all those hops on a single bine: 3,837.75
Amount of time, in weeks (assuming a 40-hour workweek), it would take you to pick all those hops by hand: about 13, if you don't take lunch breaks
Percentage of grain that came from local suppliers: 19%
Amount of oats used, as measured in bowls of oatmeal: 12,475
Amount of brown sugar used, also measured in bowls of oatmeal (but as a topping this time): 12,327
Average OG of beer produced (in degrees SG): 54
Average ABV of beer produced: 5.79%
Highest ABV beer produced: Rebello Fellow (9.5%)
Lowest ABV beer produced: The Showdown (3.7%)
Amount of vodka, in gallons, it would take to make the same amount of alcohol we produced this year: 1,628
Number of bottles filled: 972
Number of times Tom managed to get beer all over the ceiling while filling bottles: 3 (goddammit Tom)
Number of places we're on draft now (thanks Amanda!): 28
Number of times Jared burned off all his arm hair lighting the burner under the HLT: only 6 this year!
Number of times Jared dropped his wedding ring into the mash tun while it was full: come on, man. Be cool. You said you weren't gonna tell anyone.
Number of major-ish injuries sustained during brewing: 1
Number of major-ish injuries sustained during kickball: 6
Number of different breweries (and/or distilleries and/or cideries) that showed up to kickball games: 17
Number of kickballs popped by John's dog Larry: at least one, maybe two
Amount of skin, in square inches, lost to friction burns while sliding in to base: 15
Number of words written in the blog: 41,981
Least verbose month: September (2243 words)
Most verbose month: December (6512 words, about half of which were last week)
Top 3 most commonly used words in December (in order): beer, time, year
Number of times we used the word "beer" in the blog this year: 480 (376 if you don't count variations like "beers")
Number of times we manged to use the word "spooktacular" in the blog this year: 14
Number of cask festivals attended: 4!
January: Quadless Leg Monster, Cello, Loretta, Shelby
February: Stag, Big deLICious, Nug
March: L.I.Z., Galena, Stomper, Big Boots 2018
April: Pink Smoothie, Ghost Dragon, J.A.R.E.D., Springtime Lies
May: Lawnchair, Comet Bomb, Serendipity, Ginger Jamboree
June: Joyrider, Four Star Smoothie, Bison Penny (Batch 200!), Azacca, Mr. Buttons, Hillcrest
July: Doomrider, Rebello Fellow, Chromo
August: DNA, Sunken Wit, Blood Built, Lil' Delicious, Jaunty
September: The Windy Man, Death Salon, The Showdown, Nerd Farm
October: Orange Red Dead, Korey, Adelle, Danzig
November: Hartshorne, Nick, Biere de Krampus, Marimba, Barreled El Pulpo, Barreled Shelby
December: Doyle, The Protector, Ginger Extraordinaire
Rereleases (not mentioned above): FAO, Oh My!, Joybringer, EPICS, Ruby Rye, Bullhead, Black Witow, Extra Naked, Key Lime, Wasted Life, Shut Up Kelly!