Howdy do, friendaroos! We're back in blogtown with just a little bit more retrospectin' and navel gazin' for all y'all and by that I of course mean more numbers!
Number of times we drunkenly grilled out back: ?????
Number of times we fell asleep in the hammock out back after last call: 1
Number of times we fell asleep in the hammock out back after last call: 1
Wait, no, don't go. It's gonna be fun! I promise! And definitely not in a "trying to lure you down into the basement" sort of way!
Total number of floor joists that rotted out in our unit while the brewery was open: 5
Anyway, we thought it would be fun to total up some "lifetime achievement" type numbers only we didn't want to just give you lifetime totals for the numbers we come up with every year, so we spent literal minutes slaving over a hot keyboard to come up with some new takes. And that means that there are some things we would have liked to have numbers for, but they were impractical to figure out (most notably, things relating to ingredients are largely going to be missing. Ditto for stuff about events, that data is tough to track down) but hopefully some of this will be infotaining to y'all, so check out all these numbers we got!
Number of appropriate occasions to photograph our beloved Horatio plushie: ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
Total amount of beer brewed, in BBL: 2,614 (that's 88,876 gallons for those of you that don't use the admittedly-insane units that brewers use)
Amount of time it would take you to drink all that beer, assuming a rate of one four pack per day: 444 years, 8 days
Month we made the most beer: July 2022 (58.9 BBL)
Number of barrels acquired: 55
Total number of different beers released: 390
Number of single hop beers: 37
Number of dog beers: 14
Number of wedding beers: 28
Number of beers named after children for some reason: 2
Number of band beers: 79
Number of flights poured: 48,152
Number of times the flight trays got replaced: 0
Number of individual 5oz pours: 15,816
Number of full pours: 203,734
Number of full pours: 203,734
Percentage of full pours that were Extra Naked: 12%
Number of cask pours (all sizes): 5,839
Number of growlers filled: 6,420
Number of crowlers filled: 8,918
Number of bottles: 15,090
Number of four packs: 12,799
Number of states distributed to: 4, including Massachusetts (also New Hampshire, Pennsylvania, and Colorado)
Longest brewday: 19 hours (our first and only same-day double batch)
No pictures exist from that day/night so here's a pic of that time we drank our shift beers out of fruit
Bands who got the largest number of different beers brewed for them: DnA's Evolution and Sunken City (six each!)
Number of different hops in the OG formulation of Wasted Life: 7
Number of different hops in the last batch of Wasted Life: 8
Number of hops that were the same between the last batch and the original formula: 3
Number of different shirts released: 72 (give or take, depending on how you're counting. But this number is probably a lowball if anything)
Total number of words written on the blog: 424,595
Number of words in War And Peace, a book famous for being very very long: 587,287
Number of words in War And Peace, a book famous for being very very long: 587,287
Number of hot dogs served: 13,844
Number of cows that were served entirely in hot dog form: 3.93 (it would take 236 hot dogs to bring that number up to an even four, and since this number only counts hot dogs sold we can pretty confidently say that if we count Staff Dogs we've crossed the four cow mark. Hell, Jared alone ate enough dogs to put us over the line)
Number of dollar snacks served: 55,995
Final number of hippos hidden throughout the taproom: 23
Number of different made-up holidays celebrated: 6
Number of people who accidentally got beer on the ceiling: 4 (note: this only counts people who admitted it/got caught. Some people, particularly John, almost definitely got beer on the ceiling and ran away without telling anybody)
Number of employees who learned, for the first time in their adult lives, that apricots are not just dried peaches: 2
Number of times Lilly escaped the office and knocked over an entire shelf of paint cans while we were interviewing somebody for a job: 1
Number of times Rocky escaped the office and ran all the way through the taproom just to eat a hot dog out of a child's hand: 1
Number of actual literal dumpster fires: 2
Number of times our back fence caught fire: one that we know of
Number of Bone Up tattoos: 25
Percentage of those tattoos that are on Liz and Jared specifically: 32%
Number of hot sauce collabs: 5
Number of whiskey collabs: 1
Number of songs written about Bone Up: 4
Number of marriage proposals in the taproom: 2
Number of times Grace went to Europe, met the mayor of Spalt (a region famous for growing hops) and gave him a crowler of Shut Up Kelly!, of all things: 1
Number of commercially-available hop varieties that were named by Jared: 2 (technically only one so far, but we've been told the other one is in the works so we're counting it)
Also this isn't a number but we've been trying to come up with a list of the weirdest events that we've attended in a professional capacity and these are the ones we could remember: the interberwery kickball award ceremony (everybody got a trophy with "balls" engraved on it), that fest with chickens running around, the nautical-themed women in craft beer holiday bagel party, if this were pretty much any other brewery I feel like "beer fest at the zoo" would count as zany enough to include here (also the fest at the bird sanctuary that had a trivia component somehow, that one was fun), that craft beer comedy funeral, there's definitely a couple other ones I'm not thinking of but that's a decent start.
Give us another week or so to see if we can dig up any more. In the meantime, please enjoy this assortment of pictures we found while putting this post together
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