Howdy do kids and squids! It's time again for one of our* favorite year-end wrap ups: The Year In Numbers! But before we get into all that nitty gritty, we gotta give you the hip haps on what we've got goin' on here in the taproom, so let's jump right into it!
But, actually, we have one more matter to discuss before we do that, and that's to thank everyone who came out for Horatio Day this past weekend! It was a hell of a time, full of cake and friendship and vinyl and oh so much barrel-aged beer, and we're completely jazzed as hell that so many of y'all were able to make it! It was a good enough Horatio Day, in fact, that we managed to kick every one of the special kegs that we tapped, which is rad as hell but also means we don't have leftovers to tap for the next week, but also it means we gotta step it up next year, so step we shall!
But, actually, we have one more matter to discuss before we do that, and that's to thank everyone who came out for Horatio Day this past weekend! It was a hell of a time, full of cake and friendship and vinyl and oh so much barrel-aged beer, and we're completely jazzed as hell that so many of y'all were able to make it! It was a good enough Horatio Day, in fact, that we managed to kick every one of the special kegs that we tapped, which is rad as hell but also means we don't have leftovers to tap for the next week, but also it means we gotta step it up next year, so step we shall!
FIIIIIIIG PIIIIIIIIG
And moving back to the here and/or now, we've got cask! Yes indeedy, on Thursday we're tappin' up a pin of Shut Up Kelly and since ol' Kelly don't need no help bein' tasty on cask we're servin' her straight up, just as god intended! (and also we've got a different cask of Kelly that's got a bunch of stuff dumped in it that we're tapping in two weeks or so).
And speaking of Thursday, on Thursday we've also got Simpsons Trivia! This one's the last in the "one season per month" stretch that we've been doing (new themes coming for February!) and anyway this time the theme is Season Twelve and you should come hang out!
And then on Friday we've got more cool stuff for you! We recently collaborated with local author Michael Cloherty (who wrote the book Abel Bodied, which is about a historical bank robbery/murder in Malden) and that beer comes out on Friday so we're gettin' the author himself in here to do a book reading/signing so if you like books or local history or beers (or Malaysian food, since we've got Sekali in the house for the first time), you should probably come on by!
And then on Saturday we're tryin' something new to us and hosting a vision board workshop! Crystal (who is probably the same Crystal from our themed yoga classes, but don't quote me on that) will be starting the afternoon off with some guided meditation followed by creating some vision boards (and drinking beer, which is included in the ticket)! And then right as that's wrappin' up we've got Adriano's Tacos settin' up in the taproom, which is unrelated to vision boards (at least it's unrelated to all the non-taco content on said vision boards), but it will be tasty, so come on by!
And then on Sunday we resume our regularly-scheduled sushi classes with Chef Harold! Chef Harold is great and so is his sushi.
And speaking of Thursday, on Thursday we've also got Simpsons Trivia! This one's the last in the "one season per month" stretch that we've been doing (new themes coming for February!) and anyway this time the theme is Season Twelve and you should come hang out!
And then on Friday we've got more cool stuff for you! We recently collaborated with local author Michael Cloherty (who wrote the book Abel Bodied, which is about a historical bank robbery/murder in Malden) and that beer comes out on Friday so we're gettin' the author himself in here to do a book reading/signing so if you like books or local history or beers (or Malaysian food, since we've got Sekali in the house for the first time), you should probably come on by!
And then on Saturday we're tryin' something new to us and hosting a vision board workshop! Crystal (who is probably the same Crystal from our themed yoga classes, but don't quote me on that) will be starting the afternoon off with some guided meditation followed by creating some vision boards (and drinking beer, which is included in the ticket)! And then right as that's wrappin' up we've got Adriano's Tacos settin' up in the taproom, which is unrelated to vision boards (at least it's unrelated to all the non-taco content on said vision boards), but it will be tasty, so come on by!
And then on Sunday we resume our regularly-scheduled sushi classes with Chef Harold! Chef Harold is great and so is his sushi.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming, but with shiny new graphics!
Moving on to next week, next Tuesday we've got more Fiddle Times! Long story short, we're hosting an open-invite old-timey jam session in the side room and you're welcome to participate (last time somebody brought a harp. Like, an entire harp) or you can just come out and listen to some tunes and either way it's a fun time!
And then next Thursday we've got The Office Trivia Night! It'll be a night of laughs and brain-busters and reminiscing about everyone's favorite office-themed situational comedy and there's gonna be prizes and everything, so come on out! Our pals at Seabiscuit will be popping up their delicious savory pies starting at 6pm, so dinner's covered. Get here early true believers!
And then next Thursday we've got The Office Trivia Night! It'll be a night of laughs and brain-busters and reminiscing about everyone's favorite office-themed situational comedy and there's gonna be prizes and everything, so come on out! Our pals at Seabiscuit will be popping up their delicious savory pies starting at 6pm, so dinner's covered. Get here early true believers!
Mmmm.... pieeeee
* More to the point, it's Jared's favorite year-end wrapup because he thinks "numbers are fun." On a related note, he keeps assuring us (unprompted) that he "hasn't serial killed anyone, not even once."
And now that we're all done ramblin' on about all the cool stuff that's comin' up, it's time we look back on last year one more time with The Year in Numbers! For those of you that are new around here, we like to come up with a bunch of stats about all the stuff we did in the past year and then we try to Get Weird with it! Anyway, you'll get the gist pretty quickly (or you'll get bored and stop reading pretty quickly, which is why we put this at the end), so let's get to it!
Production: By the Numbers
Number of batches brewed (total): 92
Number of double batches: 29
Percentage of batches brewed that were new beers: 51%
Amount of beer packaged, in gallons: 12,985
Number of double batches: 29
Percentage of batches brewed that were new beers: 51%
Amount of beer packaged, in gallons: 12,985
Number of flights that would fill: 83,104
Percentage of total volume actually served in flights: 4.7%
Amount of time, on average (assuming a 24/7 production schedule) it takes for Boston Beer Company to produce the same of beer we make in a year: 1 hour, 52 minutes*
Percentage of total volume actually served in flights: 4.7%
Amount of time, on average (assuming a 24/7 production schedule) it takes for Boston Beer Company to produce the same of beer we make in a year: 1 hour, 52 minutes*
Number of different beers packaged: 77
Number of new beers released: 59
Number of collaboration beers: 20, not counting wedding beers
Number of wedding beers: 5
Number of new beers released: 59
Number of collaboration beers: 20, not counting wedding beers
Number of wedding beers: 5
Highest number of beers released (or rereleased) in one month: 11 (in August. Or 9 in July if you don’t count barreled/wild blends as “releases”)
Number of funky/wild beers released: 7
Number of "milkshake IPAs" brewed: 0, which is in fact the correct amount
Average OG of beer produced (in degrees SG): 1.053
Average ABV of beer produced: 6.1%
Highest ABV beer produced: No Light Ever (8.8%)
Lowest ABV beer produced: Bird Bath (4.2%)
Amount of vodka, in gallons, it would take to make the same amount of alcohol we produced this year: 1,980
Number of funky/wild beers released: 7
Number of "milkshake IPAs" brewed: 0, which is in fact the correct amount
Average OG of beer produced (in degrees SG): 1.053
Average ABV of beer produced: 6.1%
Highest ABV beer produced: No Light Ever (8.8%)
Lowest ABV beer produced: Bird Bath (4.2%)
Amount of vodka, in gallons, it would take to make the same amount of alcohol we produced this year: 1,980
Beer brewed most often: Extra Naked
Number of Extra Naked batches brewed: 15
Number of people in production who had Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell in their top five most-listened-to songs of the year: 1 (out of 4). 3 if you count the fact that it was in Jared's list thrice.
Number of Extra Naked batches brewed: 15
Number of people in production who had Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell in their top five most-listened-to songs of the year: 1 (out of 4). 3 if you count the fact that it was in Jared's list thrice.
Number of collaboration whiskeys released: 1, and it's damn fine
* They don’t actually make beer any faster than we do, this is just for scale
Ingredients: By the Numbers
Amount of hibiscus, in pounds, that was sacrificed to Henrietta this year: 60
Amount of hops used, in pounds: 640.6
Average hopping rate, in lbs/BBL: 1.67
Percentage of hops that were grown locally: 29%
Percentage of hops that were grown in Michigan, of all places: 28%
Number of hop varieties used: 38
Most used hop variety: Masscade (60#!)
Height, in feet, that you would need to grow all those hops on a single bine: 4,807.5
Amount of time, in weeks (assuming a 40-hour workweek), it would take you to pick all those hops by hand: 16
Average hopping rate, in lbs/BBL: 1.67
Percentage of hops that were grown locally: 29%
Percentage of hops that were grown in Michigan, of all places: 28%
Number of hop varieties used: 38
Most used hop variety: Masscade (60#!)
Height, in feet, that you would need to grow all those hops on a single bine: 4,807.5
Amount of time, in weeks (assuming a 40-hour workweek), it would take you to pick all those hops by hand: 16
Amount of grain used, in pounds: 30,876.9
Number of individual grains that would be (approximate): 389,000,315
Percentage of grain that came from local suppliers: 21% (52% if you consider Delaware to be “local”)
Amount of oats used, as measured in bowls of oatmeal: 21,872
Amount of brown sugar used, also measured in bowls of oatmeal (but as a topping this time): 11,127
Number of individual grains that would be (approximate): 389,000,315
Percentage of grain that came from local suppliers: 21% (52% if you consider Delaware to be “local”)
Amount of oats used, as measured in bowls of oatmeal: 21,872
Amount of brown sugar used, also measured in bowls of oatmeal (but as a topping this time): 11,127
Amount of honey used, in pounds: 340
Number of bees it would take to produce that much honey: 189,040 (visiting approximately 378,080,000,000 flowers in the process)
Yeast harvested, in cells: 581,038,000,000,000 (plus another 34,503,000,000,000 or so from lab-grown yeast)
Number of bees it would take to produce that much honey: 189,040 (visiting approximately 378,080,000,000 flowers in the process)
Yeast harvested, in cells: 581,038,000,000,000 (plus another 34,503,000,000,000 or so from lab-grown yeast)
The Blog: By the Numbers
Number of words written in the blog: 59,669 (nice)
Number of pages that would fill in a paperback: 199
Number of pages that would fill in a paperback: 199
Least verbose month: December - 2479 words
Most verbose month: November - 6419 words (January doesn’t count)
Top 3 most commonly used words in the blog (in order, other than "beer"): time, gonna, fun
Most verbose month: November - 6419 words (January doesn’t count)
Top 3 most commonly used words in the blog (in order, other than "beer"): time, gonna, fun
Least commonly used words on the blog (four-way tie): air, cookies, draft, lime
Number of times we used the word "beer" in the blog this year: 761
Number of months "beer" wasn't the most-used word: 0 (technically in November we used the word “got” more than “beer,” but that’s no fun)
Number of times we managed to use the word "spooktacular" in the blog this year: 23
Number of times we used the word "beer" in the blog this year: 761
Number of months "beer" wasn't the most-used word: 0 (technically in November we used the word “got” more than “beer,” but that’s no fun)
Number of times we managed to use the word "spooktacular" in the blog this year: 23
Snacks: By the Numbers
Number of hot dogs served: 2,721
Number of cows it would take to produce that much beef: 0.77 (as in, we went through 77% of the beef you would get from a cow, in hot dog form)
Number of hot dog themed trophies we were awarded: 1 (Best Brewery Hot Dog, Costco Division)
Number of cows it would take to produce that much beef: 0.77 (as in, we went through 77% of the beef you would get from a cow, in hot dog form)
Number of hot dog themed trophies we were awarded: 1 (Best Brewery Hot Dog, Costco Division)
Total number of pieces of candy consumed per beer on draft when figuring out the beer and candy pairing menu: 9
Number of calories - in candy alone - consumed by each member of production when figuring out the beer and candy pairing menu, as measured in pints of ice cream: 3 (plus about a half tablespoon)
Amount of sugar consumed by each member of production when figuring out the beer and candy pairing menu, as measured in Pixy Stix: 102.4
Number of calories - in candy alone - consumed by each member of production when figuring out the beer and candy pairing menu, as measured in pints of ice cream: 3 (plus about a half tablespoon)
Amount of sugar consumed by each member of production when figuring out the beer and candy pairing menu, as measured in Pixy Stix: 102.4
Taproom and Beer Garden: By the Numbers
Number of full pours served (12, 13, or 16oz): 29,033
Percentage of full pours that were Extra Naked: 14.9%
Number of flights served: 3,910
Percentage of those flights that were served over Halloween weekend: 4.8%
Percentage of full pours that were Extra Naked: 14.9%
Number of flights served: 3,910
Percentage of those flights that were served over Halloween weekend: 4.8%
Number of single to-go cans sold to people who definitely weren’t about to go drink in the parking lot: 63
Number of beers poured during our birthday weekend: 1,851
Number of beers poured during our birthday weekend: 1,851
Number of dog costumes at our dog costume party: 34
Percentage of those dogs that came with their own Instagram account: probably at least 50%
Percentage of those dogs that came with their own Instagram account: probably at least 50%
Filed Under: "Holy Shit, How Did That Happen?
Number of Horatio tattoos acquired this year: 1
Number of songs written about bone up: 1 (written and performed by The Guilloteenagers, of course)
Number of times our dog appeared in Decibel Magazine: 1
Number of packages from Matt friggin' Groening: 1
Number of Shrek-themed disco parties Liz's cousin threw in the beer garden: 1
Number of people who used custom-made Bone Up can labels to propose: 1
Beers Released in 2022
Parentheses indicates the rerelease of a seasonal/rotating/flagship beer.
January: Pizza Time!, Critters XVI, Critters XV
January: Pizza Time!, Critters XVI, Critters XV
February: Comfy Pants, (Extra Naked), (Mild Child), TLA IPA
March: (Boneheads), (Shut Up Kelly), Le Triumph, Weird Moon, Passion (Fruit) Project, The Great Miscellaneous, Barrel-Aged No Light Ever
April: Hop Wizard, Never Nude, (Wasted Life), (Out of Bounds), (On-On), Scatterbräu, (Henrietta), (Joybringer), Man Overboard
May: Spacin' Out, Electric Juicer, Dr. Dankenstein 2, Strut, Fixation on Red Ale, Embrace the Chaos, Critters XVII
June: Blood Built, The Airness, Where Serpents Dwell, (Blue Manic), Dead Dry Eyes, Death Lullaby
July: Stick the Landing, Hop Chariot, Float Along, Where's Chris?, Don't Go, Six Hundo, Nameless Wave, (Seven X's), (Key Lime White)
August: Pumpkin Humor, Bird Bath, I am the Island, Sip Time, Ad Nauseam, Critters XVIII, Welcome to the Bad Future, Baby Monster, Rumble Royale, Mirage Daze, Dark Humor
September: Mag-nificent Chemistry, Hench 4 Life, Pobody's Nerfect, CPHaze, Porcupine Pale
October: (Ginger Spectacular), Exiled from the Abyss, (El Pulpo), Trial Run, Working Title, (Barrel-Aged El Pulpo)
November: Embrace of Death, (Honey 'n Hops), Hellmouth, Firekeeper Wit, Deathly Trails, Empress in Decline
December: (Biere de Krampus), Ghost Dragon 2, Jazz from Hell
RSS Feed