Howdy do, kids and squids! It's damn near turkeytime again and - you guessed it - that means that it's time for another round of our famous* Thanksgiving Beer Pairings although it's unlikely we'll have pairings for every beer on the menu this year (which is definitely not because we didn't realize that it was almost Thanksgiving until like two days ago. It's some other, more valid-sounding reason) but we've got some pairings comin' atcha nonetheless but anyway we gotta get with the goods in the here and/or now, so here's the now!
First on up we gotta get to Holiday Hours! We'll be open from noon until sixish on Wednesday (i.e. Today) and we will be closed on Thursday. Also, as a more-or-less direct result of that, there will be no cask this week (boo, etc) but cask will return next week (yay, etc)!
First on up we gotta get to Holiday Hours! We'll be open from noon until sixish on Wednesday (i.e. Today) and we will be closed on Thursday. Also, as a more-or-less direct result of that, there will be no cask this week (boo, etc) but cask will return next week (yay, etc)!
And speaking of beer, which is probably what we were doing before, we've got beer! More to the "point" we've got Wasted Life back on tap! This old-ish school IPA used to be one of our year round beers Once Upon A Time, but at some point it got demoted to Seasonal Status, in large part because the ingredients we were using in it had a weird tendency to stop existing (RIP Four Star Rakau) but also our attitudes towards IPAs changed a bit and we wanted our menu to reflect that.** Anyway it's on tap right now and it's tasting just as good as we remember, so come on out and grab yourself a glassful of nostalgia for the semi-recent past!
And speaking of things, we know that Joybringer is a favorite to many of you out there in Blog Readership Land, so it's in your/our best interest for you to know that we've got Joybringer back in bottles right now, but we ain't got many! Long story short, we brewed ol' Joy to use in a lot of the blends that we're releasing for our Shitty Wednesday Bottle Extravaganza (more on that in a sec) but also we wanted to have some bottles of the Last Ever Batch of Joybringer, so we bottled some off! But we were only able to squirrel away a couple cases, so if you need some Joy in your life you might wanna get gettin' while there's gettin' to be got!
And gettin' on down to that ol' Bottle Hoedown or whatever I called it, we've got some kinda Bottle Hoedown goin' down! More specifically, we like to do something special for the day we know as Shitty Wednesday (also known as the worst traffic day of the year and/or the one time of year that you go to a bar in your hometown only to be aggressively reminded of why you never bothered keeping in touch with people from high school) and that "something special" happens to be releasing a shitload of bottles! We've currently got SIXTEEN FRIGGIN' BEERS available in bottles and SIX of those were created and/or bottled specifically for Shitty Wednesday (and/or Horatio Day, when they'll all be on tap). Of the six new ones, two are rereleases - Joybringer (which I already mentioned) and Joyrider (this time featuring beer aged in the Horatio's Reserve whiskey barrel); one is a new spin on an old favorite (barrel-aged Biere de Krampus); and the other three (Close Encounters, Sam's Elven Explosion, and Tears of Krampus) are brand spankin' new! And. AND. To "sweeten the deal" and get you to come out on a day when it's objectively terrible to even think about being in a car, buying bottles (specifically six or more) gets you a free glass! Oh and also we've still got a bunch of other stuff, including Ginger Hootenanny and Calico which were originally supposed to be Shitty Wednesday releases but they were ready early and we got excited. Listen: we're not saying that bottles and glassware from Bone Up should make up your entire holiday shopping list, but we are saying that bottles and glassware from Bone Up should at least be most of what you give people for The Holidays this year.
And gettin' on down to that ol' Bottle Hoedown or whatever I called it, we've got some kinda Bottle Hoedown goin' down! More specifically, we like to do something special for the day we know as Shitty Wednesday (also known as the worst traffic day of the year and/or the one time of year that you go to a bar in your hometown only to be aggressively reminded of why you never bothered keeping in touch with people from high school) and that "something special" happens to be releasing a shitload of bottles! We've currently got SIXTEEN FRIGGIN' BEERS available in bottles and SIX of those were created and/or bottled specifically for Shitty Wednesday (and/or Horatio Day, when they'll all be on tap). Of the six new ones, two are rereleases - Joybringer (which I already mentioned) and Joyrider (this time featuring beer aged in the Horatio's Reserve whiskey barrel); one is a new spin on an old favorite (barrel-aged Biere de Krampus); and the other three (Close Encounters, Sam's Elven Explosion, and Tears of Krampus) are brand spankin' new! And. AND. To "sweeten the deal" and get you to come out on a day when it's objectively terrible to even think about being in a car, buying bottles (specifically six or more) gets you a free glass! Oh and also we've still got a bunch of other stuff, including Ginger Hootenanny and Calico which were originally supposed to be Shitty Wednesday releases but they were ready early and we got excited. Listen: we're not saying that bottles and glassware from Bone Up should make up your entire holiday shopping list, but we are saying that bottles and glassware from Bone Up should at least be most of what you give people for The Holidays this year.
Movin' right along to the weekend, we've got Gratitude and Gloom Yoga on Saturday morning in case you wanna yoga off some of that turkey day feasting you did earlier in the week (is that how that works? I don't know how yoga works).
Then on Sunday we've got another show in the taproom! This time around it's Throw, Billy, Unhinged, and Impulse Control and it's an early show (doors at 4) on account of how it's a Sunday but also we'll be staying open a little later (9 instead of 8) on account of how we've got a show! In the taproom! Anyway it's gonna be fun as hell and you should come hang out!
Then on Sunday we've got another show in the taproom! This time around it's Throw, Billy, Unhinged, and Impulse Control and it's an early show (doors at 4) on account of how it's a Sunday but also we'll be staying open a little later (9 instead of 8) on account of how we've got a show! In the taproom! Anyway it's gonna be fun as hell and you should come hang out!
And looking a little ways forward to next week, we've really just got the big one on the calendar and that's Horatio Day! It's Saturday and Sunday of next weekend (and also we'll be closed to the public next Friday because that's when the Mug Club Horatio Day Sneak Peek is scheduled for) and we're throwin' this party a little early because of Reasons but mostly we're completely stoked to have an influx of barrel-aged beers on tap all weekend (including all the new Shitty Wednesday bottle releases and also an extra, extra special release that we're putting out for Horatio Day) and we're gonna have food vendors both days (Black Tongue Sloppy Joes on Saturday and Lionheart Confections on Sunday) AND this is the first-ever Horatio Day that's gonna feature live music with The Weisstronauts and The Electric Heaters on Saturday then DnA's Evolution and The Guilloteenagers on Sunday and the point is that it's gonna be a whole buncha fun and you should come party with us!
2023 Thanksgiving Pairings
Okay! Now that we've got all the nitty and/or gritty outta the way, let's get to some beer pairings! For those of you who might be new around here, it brings us great joy to come up with a bunch of extremely-seasonally-appropriate and definitely-not-illegal pairings for your Turkey Day pleasure and also we've thoughtfully included some ideas in case you find yourself in the regrettable situation of not having our entire menu on-hand in your house always all the time. Anyway, enjoy!
Extra Naked
pairs well with... wishing you hadn't eaten so much the previous day
and if you don't have any Extra Naked, we suggest... shame eating
Shut Up Kelly!
pairs well with... ooOOOooh! Somebody brought fudge?!
and if you don't have any Shut Up Kelly, we suggest... trying to convince your elderly aunt to do shots of Allen's Coffee Brandy with you
El Pulpo
pairs well with... constructing increasingly-elaborate forts with your youngest relatives
And if you don't have any El Pulpo, we suggest... acting so erratically at the dinner table that you get banished to the kids' playroom to go watch Dumbo like six times in a row because that's somehow the only movie they have. Again.
Joyrider
pairs well with... compressing, shaping, and re-baking the stuffing to use as hard taco shells
And if you don't have any Joyrider, we suggest... pointing out each dish individually and making the argument that it "technically qualifies as a taco." Really fight to make your point. Make a chart if you have to.
Joybringer
pairs well with... making up songs about the foods you're about to eat while you fill your plate
And if you don't have any Joybringer, we suggest... putting on a puppet show wherein you have the turkey carcass stage a Gallagher-style performance and messily smash the giblets with a potato
Barrel-aged El Pulpo
pairs well with... happily shouting
And if you don't have any Barrel-aged El Pulpo, we suggest... angrily shouting
Wasted Life
pairs well with... a nap on the couch
and if you don't have any Wasted Life, we suggest... taking a nap anyway, albeit a less satisfying one
No Light Ever
pairs well with... those weird "truffles" that are basically just crushed oreos and cream cheese
And if you don't have any No Light Ever, we suggest... trying to convince people that the box of Oreos you brought for dessert is actually a "deconstructed cake"
Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus
pairs well with... making a raspberry pie with an Oreo crust
and if you don't have any Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus, we suggest... crushing a bunch of Oreos and making Double Stuff Stuffing
Artificial Reaper
pairs well with... telling extremely inappropriate jokes at the dinner table
And if you don't have any Artificial Reaper, we suggest... sneakily teaching a bunch of new and fun swear words to everybody at the kids' table
Horatio's Reserve
pairs well with... pecan pie
And if you don't have any Horatio's Reserve, we suggest... leaving in the middle of dinner to shave off your facial hair and then refusing to acknowledge it when you get back (those of you without facial hair will have to improvise. Maybe just go to town on your eyebrows)
Extra Funky
pairs well with... dissociating a little bit when somebody starts telling a seven-hour-long story about how they went to a craft fair and wouldn't you know it? They just saw the cutest picture frames
And if you don't have any Extra Funky, we suggest... interrupting any and all long stories with facts about bugs
The Blurst of Times
pairs well with... twice baked potatoes
And if you don't have any The Blurst of Times, we suggest... thrice baked potatoes
This is a Guilloteenagers Beer
pairs well with... sneaking a little death metal into the background music playlist
And if you don't have any This is a Guilloteenagers Beer, we suggest... changing the background playlist to be entirely scores from horror movies
700
pairs well with... probably turkey and gravy, honestly
And if you don't have any 700, we suggest... setting out like seven kinds of gravy so that people can do a gravy side-by-side and we can finally decide what kind is best. You might need to roast several additional kinds of birds/animals to really make this work
Three of Cups
pairs well with... napkin origami
And if you don't have any Three of Cups, we suggest... carving a face into the side of the ham like it's Mount Rushmore
Calico
pairs well with... desperately trying to avoid receiving Unsolicited Life Advice from a relative whose grasp on reality is tenuous at best
And if you don't have any Calico, we suggest... agreeing with that relative and taking their advice past its logical extreme ("why yes, my generation *is* too vain and takes too many selfies, clearly we need to make mirrors illegal")
South of Italy
pairs well with... trying to convince everybody that there's a "traditional Thanksgiving dance" that's common where you're from. Make them participate.
And if you don't have any South of Italy, we suggest... also insisting that said dance must be performed to "The Monster Mash"
Tears of Krampus
pairs well with... pumpkin pie
And if you don't have any Tears of Krampus, we suggest... sitting in the corner by yourself, drinking an alarming amount of hot chocolate and muttering angrily to yourself
Joining the War on the Side of the Whales
pairs well with... coming up with devious schemes to make sure the new person at the family table gets cornered by that one uncle with Extremely Specific (and lengthy) opinions about lawn care
And if you don't have any Joining the War on the Side of the Whales, we suggest... filling in for that uncle, only sub in "ways to make your apartment more gnomecore" for lawn care stuff
Close Encounters
pairs well with... trying to solve the mystery of why au gratin potatoes are always cold
And if you don't have any Close Encounters, we suggest... eating directly off of the serving dishes, see if those are where the heat is lost
Sam's Elven Explosion
pairs well with... drinking out of a goblet and Proclaiming things
And if you don't have any Sam's Elven Explosion, we suggest... pulling a Jay Gatsby and staring silently out the window in the side room for the entire day
Ginger Hootenanny
pairs well with... slogging your way through one of those long-distance phone calls with other relatives where the phone gets passed around the room (other people had to do this too, right? It wasn't just me? Do they still do that, or have they transitioned from uncomfortable phone calls to uncomfortable zoom calls?)
And if you don't have any Ginger Hootenanny, we suggest... trying to start a barbershop quartet with the people not on the phone, try and swap members in and out as seamlessly as possible. You'll have to stick to songs that everybody knows, so it's prolly gonna be the Spice World soundtrack
Blue Manic
pairs well with... spending all your food prep time making one very specific appetizer (that nobody ends up caring about) and then scrambling to get everything else done
And if you don't have any Blue Manic, we suggest... just putting the entire frozen turkey in the microwave to defrost. What's the worst that could happen?
* Did you know you can just call things "famous" even if they aren't? Nobody usually even checks!
** The reason we demoted Key Lime to seasonal status was "we got better at making fruit beer, so why wouldn't we make more of the stuff that's better" but that whole issue is a bit more nuanced when it comes to IPA/Wasted Life.
Extra Naked
pairs well with... wishing you hadn't eaten so much the previous day
and if you don't have any Extra Naked, we suggest... shame eating
Shut Up Kelly!
pairs well with... ooOOOooh! Somebody brought fudge?!
and if you don't have any Shut Up Kelly, we suggest... trying to convince your elderly aunt to do shots of Allen's Coffee Brandy with you
El Pulpo
pairs well with... constructing increasingly-elaborate forts with your youngest relatives
And if you don't have any El Pulpo, we suggest... acting so erratically at the dinner table that you get banished to the kids' playroom to go watch Dumbo like six times in a row because that's somehow the only movie they have. Again.
Joyrider
pairs well with... compressing, shaping, and re-baking the stuffing to use as hard taco shells
And if you don't have any Joyrider, we suggest... pointing out each dish individually and making the argument that it "technically qualifies as a taco." Really fight to make your point. Make a chart if you have to.
Joybringer
pairs well with... making up songs about the foods you're about to eat while you fill your plate
And if you don't have any Joybringer, we suggest... putting on a puppet show wherein you have the turkey carcass stage a Gallagher-style performance and messily smash the giblets with a potato
Barrel-aged El Pulpo
pairs well with... happily shouting
And if you don't have any Barrel-aged El Pulpo, we suggest... angrily shouting
Wasted Life
pairs well with... a nap on the couch
and if you don't have any Wasted Life, we suggest... taking a nap anyway, albeit a less satisfying one
No Light Ever
pairs well with... those weird "truffles" that are basically just crushed oreos and cream cheese
And if you don't have any No Light Ever, we suggest... trying to convince people that the box of Oreos you brought for dessert is actually a "deconstructed cake"
Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus
pairs well with... making a raspberry pie with an Oreo crust
and if you don't have any Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus, we suggest... crushing a bunch of Oreos and making Double Stuff Stuffing
Artificial Reaper
pairs well with... telling extremely inappropriate jokes at the dinner table
And if you don't have any Artificial Reaper, we suggest... sneakily teaching a bunch of new and fun swear words to everybody at the kids' table
Horatio's Reserve
pairs well with... pecan pie
And if you don't have any Horatio's Reserve, we suggest... leaving in the middle of dinner to shave off your facial hair and then refusing to acknowledge it when you get back (those of you without facial hair will have to improvise. Maybe just go to town on your eyebrows)
Extra Funky
pairs well with... dissociating a little bit when somebody starts telling a seven-hour-long story about how they went to a craft fair and wouldn't you know it? They just saw the cutest picture frames
And if you don't have any Extra Funky, we suggest... interrupting any and all long stories with facts about bugs
The Blurst of Times
pairs well with... twice baked potatoes
And if you don't have any The Blurst of Times, we suggest... thrice baked potatoes
This is a Guilloteenagers Beer
pairs well with... sneaking a little death metal into the background music playlist
And if you don't have any This is a Guilloteenagers Beer, we suggest... changing the background playlist to be entirely scores from horror movies
700
pairs well with... probably turkey and gravy, honestly
And if you don't have any 700, we suggest... setting out like seven kinds of gravy so that people can do a gravy side-by-side and we can finally decide what kind is best. You might need to roast several additional kinds of birds/animals to really make this work
Three of Cups
pairs well with... napkin origami
And if you don't have any Three of Cups, we suggest... carving a face into the side of the ham like it's Mount Rushmore
Calico
pairs well with... desperately trying to avoid receiving Unsolicited Life Advice from a relative whose grasp on reality is tenuous at best
And if you don't have any Calico, we suggest... agreeing with that relative and taking their advice past its logical extreme ("why yes, my generation *is* too vain and takes too many selfies, clearly we need to make mirrors illegal")
South of Italy
pairs well with... trying to convince everybody that there's a "traditional Thanksgiving dance" that's common where you're from. Make them participate.
And if you don't have any South of Italy, we suggest... also insisting that said dance must be performed to "The Monster Mash"
Tears of Krampus
pairs well with... pumpkin pie
And if you don't have any Tears of Krampus, we suggest... sitting in the corner by yourself, drinking an alarming amount of hot chocolate and muttering angrily to yourself
Joining the War on the Side of the Whales
pairs well with... coming up with devious schemes to make sure the new person at the family table gets cornered by that one uncle with Extremely Specific (and lengthy) opinions about lawn care
And if you don't have any Joining the War on the Side of the Whales, we suggest... filling in for that uncle, only sub in "ways to make your apartment more gnomecore" for lawn care stuff
Close Encounters
pairs well with... trying to solve the mystery of why au gratin potatoes are always cold
And if you don't have any Close Encounters, we suggest... eating directly off of the serving dishes, see if those are where the heat is lost
Sam's Elven Explosion
pairs well with... drinking out of a goblet and Proclaiming things
And if you don't have any Sam's Elven Explosion, we suggest... pulling a Jay Gatsby and staring silently out the window in the side room for the entire day
Ginger Hootenanny
pairs well with... slogging your way through one of those long-distance phone calls with other relatives where the phone gets passed around the room (other people had to do this too, right? It wasn't just me? Do they still do that, or have they transitioned from uncomfortable phone calls to uncomfortable zoom calls?)
And if you don't have any Ginger Hootenanny, we suggest... trying to start a barbershop quartet with the people not on the phone, try and swap members in and out as seamlessly as possible. You'll have to stick to songs that everybody knows, so it's prolly gonna be the Spice World soundtrack
Blue Manic
pairs well with... spending all your food prep time making one very specific appetizer (that nobody ends up caring about) and then scrambling to get everything else done
And if you don't have any Blue Manic, we suggest... just putting the entire frozen turkey in the microwave to defrost. What's the worst that could happen?
* Did you know you can just call things "famous" even if they aren't? Nobody usually even checks!
** The reason we demoted Key Lime to seasonal status was "we got better at making fruit beer, so why wouldn't we make more of the stuff that's better" but that whole issue is a bit more nuanced when it comes to IPA/Wasted Life.
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