Howdy kids! Did you know that it's almost time? Time for our anniversary! Time to party! Time for beer! Time for high fives! Time to spend multiple days doing nothing but hanging out outside and listening to live music! Time for friendship! Time for snacks! Time for fun times!
And to kick off all those fun times we must mention that we are closed to the public on Wednesday so we can have a little preparty* for all our mug club peeps. So if you're in the mug club, we'll see you then! If not, we'll see you slightly after then!
And on the other end of that ol' weekend we will be closed entirely Monday because we have learned our lesson about trying to function like normal human beings on the day after the anniversary.
And to kick off all those fun times we must mention that we are closed to the public on Wednesday so we can have a little preparty* for all our mug club peeps. So if you're in the mug club, we'll see you then! If not, we'll see you slightly after then!
And on the other end of that ol' weekend we will be closed entirely Monday because we have learned our lesson about trying to function like normal human beings on the day after the anniversary.
Oh and moving on to the duration of the anniversary we figured we should add in a little "programming note" to those of you who like to use the semi-secret back bathrooms (which we know as the "murder bathrooms" but it turns out that people get weirded out if we call them that out loud) to avoid the lines that can form at Bathrooms Prime: we are aware of the increased amount of weird debris that's currently filling that hallway (known as the "murder hallway," of course), and we're doing our best to mitigate said debris pile (not least of which because it's a fire hazard to block that hallway) but every time we clear a path somebody finds a bunch of new weird junk to take up space, so I guess the point is that we'll put on our Sisyphus Pants as many times as we can over the course of the weekend but it might be more of an adventure than usual getting through there.
Anyway, moving on to the actual fun stuff, we totally forgot to (re)mention all the sweet anniversary merch that we've got available! We talked a bit about all the cool stuff we got with the anniversary logo all over it (including the return of the Not Black Anniversary Shirts since those were such a hit last year) but did you also know that if you get the sweet-ass anniversary mug (which measures a respectable 20oz) then you can use it to get 20oz draft pours for pint pricing all weekend long? It's like a vacation to Mug Club Land (or, if you're in the mug club, it's like a vacation to a slightly different mug club. Unless you have a Mug of Shame, in which case it's pretty similar because this is the same base glass). Anyway, cool stuff: we've got it!
Anyway, moving on to the actual fun stuff, we totally forgot to (re)mention all the sweet anniversary merch that we've got available! We talked a bit about all the cool stuff we got with the anniversary logo all over it (including the return of the Not Black Anniversary Shirts since those were such a hit last year) but did you also know that if you get the sweet-ass anniversary mug (which measures a respectable 20oz) then you can use it to get 20oz draft pours for pint pricing all weekend long? It's like a vacation to Mug Club Land (or, if you're in the mug club, it's like a vacation to a slightly different mug club. Unless you have a Mug of Shame, in which case it's pretty similar because this is the same base glass). Anyway, cool stuff: we've got it!
PLUS we've got new beers! Lots of 'em! Like, at least three.
First up is Hazy Spacey Jam which is our collab with Sundrifter and it's an IPA called Hazy Spacey Jam (they wanted to call it "Hazy Space Jam" but we don't really like getting sued any more than we already are, so we changed it a bit) and it's hella tasty even though, on account of some "new processes" in the ol' fermentation dungeon, it's actually a lot less hazy than the label would suggest. But that's what you get when you name a beer and/or order the label before the beer is done (fun fact: we do this for every beer!) and the real point here is that we did still cram a crapton of hops in there and it's delicious as all heck and it's available on draft and in cans right now and you should drink some!
First up is Hazy Spacey Jam which is our collab with Sundrifter and it's an IPA called Hazy Spacey Jam (they wanted to call it "Hazy Space Jam" but we don't really like getting sued any more than we already are, so we changed it a bit) and it's hella tasty even though, on account of some "new processes" in the ol' fermentation dungeon, it's actually a lot less hazy than the label would suggest. But that's what you get when you name a beer and/or order the label before the beer is done (fun fact: we do this for every beer!) and the real point here is that we did still cram a crapton of hops in there and it's delicious as all heck and it's available on draft and in cans right now and you should drink some!
And speaking of cramming a crapton of hops into a beer, the next new beer on the docket is Bad At Maths! This one isn't an anniversary beer** but rather a happy*** accident that was made by adding double the dry hops to Extra Naked and if you ever asked yourself "what if Extra Naked, but more so" (and who hasn't asked themselves that), then this beer is for you! And it's on draft right now!
And then we get back into the anniversary beers with this year's Crowfeeder beer and it's an oatmeal brown that we're callin' Kingslayer! I don't actually remember if it was intentional that we brewed them an oatmeal brown the year after brewing them a smoked brown (maybe they responded to our email late and got last dibs? Maybe this was in fact their desired style? Who can say. Certainly not me, I don't want to go back through my email) but the real point here is that this silky smooth brown ale is a damn treat to drink (and also it's a bit bigger than our brown ales tend to be, if that's your thing) and it's also on draft right now!
And then we get back into the anniversary beers with this year's Crowfeeder beer and it's an oatmeal brown that we're callin' Kingslayer! I don't actually remember if it was intentional that we brewed them an oatmeal brown the year after brewing them a smoked brown (maybe they responded to our email late and got last dibs? Maybe this was in fact their desired style? Who can say. Certainly not me, I don't want to go back through my email) but the real point here is that this silky smooth brown ale is a damn treat to drink (and also it's a bit bigger than our brown ales tend to be, if that's your thing) and it's also on draft right now!
Wait, did somebody say smoked brown ale? Because we've got a smoked brown ale! This one's for new-to-our-party Hobo Wizard and it's called Cathedral of Trees because we thought that sounded cool (it's a song of theirs and it happens to be a good one, and also it's got a pretty cool story behind it, but mostly it sounds cool) and we definitely ramped up the smoke a fair bit from what we usually do (like fifty percent more) and whoo-ee is it good! Anyway you'll get to find out for yourself because it's in cans right now and you should probably get several because it'll take your palate a little while to acclimate to the smoke (but it's totally worth it).
Oh dang, there's more anniversary beers? How? Why? Oh wait, it's because we like making tasty beer for awesome bands, that's why. And this particular awesome band (namely Sunken City) has been playing at our anniversary since basically tempus immemorial so we whipped up a tart 'n sassy lil' mixed ferm beer that we're calling Undercurrents and it's relatively dark color belies the lightness of flavor therein, but y'all have been on the Critters train for long enough that you know not to judge the funk until you get a snootful (and if you ain't been on that Critters train this whole time, you're missing out) and anyway - you guessed it - it's available in bottles and on tap right now and you should drink some!
And that's the last of the anniversary beers (packaged this Tuesday! Right on time!), but we were on a roll or something so we figured we'd blend up another barrel-aged blend just for laughs and that's Joining the War on the Side of the Whales! This blend was conceived by a punk band (Stryga, during the same blending session that birthed Artificial Reaper) and it was named by our mug club (after taking many, many suggestions at our last mug club party (props to Camille for the suggestion, even if it wasn't meant to be a real one). Seriously, it was like two pages of single-spaced double-column names) and it seems like it would be less work for us if we get other people to do all that stuff for us but it turns out that those are the fun parts and we still have to do the actual work parts but that's all well and good because this beer is tasty as heck and it's available in bottles right now because why not and we suggest you drink some of this one too!
And also there's a beer that's not new but is making a triumphant return in a new format and that format is cask! And just like last year, we decided that Stick the Landing was pretty much the perfect candidate for some summertime caskin', so we casked it on up! The beer engine will resume its hot weather hiatus once this pin kicks, so if you've got the cask itch then come on out and get your fix!
Anyway that's all the new beers we've got (not to mention the return of some past band beers like barrel-aged Dark Humor which will be on tap until one and only keg of it kicks, and Man Overboard which never really went away but it's really good, and also No Light Ever for Glacier who had to back out because they saw/heard the noise level that gets us phone calls from the police and realized that they are much, much louder than that) and we already talked about all the happenin' tunes and good eats and cool merch and fun vendors that we're gonna have over the next few days, so at this point all we can say is: come hang out with us! It's gonna be a great time!
Anyway that's all the new beers we've got (not to mention the return of some past band beers like barrel-aged Dark Humor which will be on tap until one and only keg of it kicks, and Man Overboard which never really went away but it's really good, and also No Light Ever for Glacier who had to back out because they saw/heard the noise level that gets us phone calls from the police and realized that they are much, much louder than that) and we already talked about all the happenin' tunes and good eats and cool merch and fun vendors that we're gonna have over the next few days, so at this point all we can say is: come hang out with us! It's gonna be a great time!
* "What can we do to show appreciation to the people who are most likely to drink with us for four days straight?" we asked ourselves. And then, apparently with a straight face, we told ourselves "I know! Let's drink with them for a FIFTH straight day, before all the other drinking starts!"
** Oh wait, we don't explicitly have a beer for the JackJohn Funk Faction. This is their beer now. I decree it.
*** We actually really like how this beer turned out, I just had to put an asterisk there because it's funny to imply that we're not happy about it.
** Oh wait, we don't explicitly have a beer for the JackJohn Funk Faction. This is their beer now. I decree it.
*** We actually really like how this beer turned out, I just had to put an asterisk there because it's funny to imply that we're not happy about it.
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