In Which We Rescue Some Baby Skunks From the Wild and Release Some Beers Into the Wild (The Two Are Unrelated)

Howdy-do, friendaroos! We've had ourselves an eventful* week, and some of it has even been related to beer, so saddle up and read up 'cuz we gots some yarns to spin!

First on up is the latest installment in a longstanding tradition that we hold near and dear here at Bone Up, and that's the Bestowing Of The Paddle! Long story short,** when one of our brewers has been On The Team for a year or two (the exact timing depends on how many catastrophes are actively unfolding at any given point in time), they get their own custom-made mash paddle to add to our Wall O' Brewing Paddles And Mops! Each paddle is carefully designed and then created by somebody who is pretty obviously not a professional woodworker and this week we bestowed a paddle upon our brewer Human Tom! 

Tom's been with us for nigh-on two years now, and has performed adequately for much of that time. And we should also add that this moment of celebration is a tad bittersweet, as Human Tom will be departing the company this summer like some kind of stupid jerk quitter.

Anyway, moving on and moving forward, in news that has (thankfully) already come and gone, Mother Nature saw fit to introduce us to a couple new furry friends a little ways back! At some point last week, we had a couple cute-yet-startling encounters with a couple little furbabies who - it turns out - were living in one of the debris piles that were thoughtfully left out by the landscapers who share our parking lot*** with us. ​

And we figured out pretty quickly that these lil' kits were in dire straits when one of them tried to saunter up to our patio and order a beer like we're not in the middle of some state-mandated lockdown or something, so we did the only thing we could - rig up some makeshift traps and get 'em somewhere safe (luckily for us, they did not have well-developed scent glands yet)! ​

And yes, all's well that ends well (though I feel at this point that I should stress the fact that I'm not making this up) - they both arrived safe and sound at a skunk and porcupine sanctuary somewhere upstate, which is run by a very nice person whom we know only as Mary the Skunk Lady.

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But enough about wildlife and amateur woodcrafting, what about beer? Well, this ain't a canning week (those are, loosely, every two weeks), but that means we've had more time for barrels and bottles and all that, which means we've got two new bottles that are (probably) coming out on Friday!

First up is the first full-fledged spinoff from our Critters series, and that's Chimera! This here beer's got a bit of a story behind it, but the Cliff's Notes version is that it's been two years in the making and also it's born of our collaboration with GrandTen Distilling (they're still aging the whiskey that we made at their digs) and also it's closely tied to the beer that started our whole funk program, which was (somewhat confusingly) Critters 2! Oh, and also there's a bit of fruit in there, because we thought it would taste good with a little fruit in there. But anyway, this is our first-ever big ol' funky beer release, and we're straight-up stoked that it's also the Friendship Beer that we made with our friends a ways back and also it's tasty as hell and you should drink some!

And the other beer that's coming out on (probably) Friday is a straight-up barrel-aged blend that's gonna have to remain a mystery until then, and that's not entirely (mostly, but not entirely) because we haven't figured out a name for it yet.

And! For the first time ever, all our flagship beers are in 16oz cans/4 packs! Admittedly, this was more news last week when we completed the lineup with our first Extra Naked canning run, but it's a pretty dang big improvement from crowler and growler fills and we're delighted to be able to offer you our finest in proper packaging. Don't they look nice?

Oh! And! It's May, which means another coloring contest has come to a close! The pool was a smidge more limited this month, so we uploaded everyone's entries so you could see their beautiful handiwork! 

* Long time readers will know that our use of the word "eventful" is about as encouraging as hearing Prof. Farnsworth declare something to be "good news."
** The long version of the story involves a friend of Jared's wildly misunderstanding life as a brewer, but doing so in such a charming way that we had to make it a reality. 
*** Technically they're relegated to the unpaved section next to our lot, but that doesn't stop them from dropping giant piles of dirt all over our parking spots whenever they feel like it. They're, like, super neighborly.