** Which is to say that the opposite of a minor miracle is a major goddamned disaster (or several, depending on how you look at it).
*** Though judging from the number of people who have already showed up out of the blue and angrily demanded to be able to drink in our lot, y'all must think we had, like, an "inside scoop" that gave us this news before you got it (spoiler alert: nobody tells us anything either). Or maybe people just thought we had a ready-made beer garden that we just weren't using? Unclear.
**** It's worth mentioning that we're doing all this stuff because of new state-mandated rules - we're not just, like, making shit up because we like enforcing weird rules on relative strangers. That being said, we do agree with said rules, they just ain't our brainchildren.