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It's Gobble Time, Bitches!

11/24/2021

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Howdy-do kids and squids! It's nigh-on gobble time and that means we're due for one of the most highly-anticipated (by us) recurring segments on this ol' blog and that's our beer and Thanksgiving pairings! But we'll get to that in due time, because I'm being told that first we need to get through the "actual blog" that "people might want to read" because it's "more useful," which would be a fair point except that I'm pretty sure most of our readership consists of friends of Ben's who skim the text to see if he gets explicitly made fun of this week. But I digress. Onward!
Picture
No sass, all sunsets over here
First and/or foremost and/or unsurprisingly there will be no cask this week. It's a bit of a bummer if you're a cask aficionado or whatever, but we're takin' the time to stock up on some tasty-ass cask goodies and we'll be rockin' the beer engine right on schedule with some pretty rad stuff next week, so never you worry!
Picture
Stay tuned!
And moving ever closer to the Turkey Day Festivities is our Shitty Wednesday Bottle Release! The day before Thanksgiving (which we have dubbed Shitty Wednesday for reasons that should be obvious) is pretty much always a hassle and/or a downer so we're tryin' to raise some spirits by releasing a whole crapton of bottles!

​We've got some rereleases (barrel-aged Biere de Krampus, Blood of Krampus, Yelling at Birds) and some brand new beers (Menagerie, Ginger Occasion) and a beer that's available to-go for the first time (Critters XIV) and a beer that we definitely didn't lose in the cold room for an embarrassing amount of time (Critters IX) and that's all on top of our already-awesome bottle list (Joybringer, Joyrider, Barrel-aged El Pulpo, The Gargoyle, Funky Life, Squash Everything) and also we're givin' out some sweet glassware if you buy a half case of bottles (or more, obvs) and anyway my point is that there's a whole buncha delicious-ass beer available in bottles and you should come grab some!
Picture
Look at that HAPPY fridge
Oh! Also! Since we're re-releasing both of our bottled Krampus beers we thought this would be a fitting time to release our vaguely-XMas-themed merch: Krampus shirts! They're rad as heck and they're available right now! ​
Picture
And! Lastly! On Saturday we've got new-to-us Chef Jems popping up in the taproom with birria tacos!
Picture
Taco time! ​
And now! With all the beer releases and merch and events out of the way, we move on to our annual Beer and Thanksgiving Pairings! What started as poking gentle fun at the weirdness of Thanksgiving traditions (seriously, none of this shit makes any sense at all) has blossomed into a series of "pairings" that range from "inadvisable" to "illegal" but which somehow still won't get you uninvited from next year's dinner, because gathering all your craziest relatives in one room and giving them booze is an Important Tradition. And so, without further ado, and in no particular order, we present to you the 2021 Bone Up Thanksgiving Beer Pairings:
Picture
Cheers!
Extra Naked
pairs well with... wishing you hadn't eaten so much the previous day
and if you don't have any Extra Naked, we suggest... shame eating

Shut Up Kelly!
pairs well with... ooOOOooh! Somebody brought fudge?!
and if you don't have any Shut Up Kelly, we suggest... trying to convince your elderly aunt to do shots of Allen's Coffee Brandy with you

Ginger Spectacular
pairs well with... trying to get out of any and all discussions about politics
and if you don't have any Ginger Spectacular, we suggest... pointing into the middle distance and yelling "what's that!?" and then running away, giggling

El Pulpo
pairs well with... constructing increasingly-elaborate forts with your youngest relatives
And if you don't have any El Pulpo, we suggest... acting so erratically at the dinner table that you get banished to the kids' playroom to go watch Dumbo like six times in a row because that's somehow the only movie they have. Again.

Joyrider
pairs well with... compressing, shaping, and re-baking the stuffing to use as hard taco shells
And if you don't have any Joyrider, we suggest... pointing out each dish individually and making the argument that it "technically qualifies as a taco." Really fight to make your point. Make a chart if you have to.

Ginger Disco
pairs well with... serving people "roulette brownies" where a small percentage of random brownies are completely full of habanero powder.
And if you don't have any Ginger Disco, we suggest... same thing, but throw a couple THC brownies in there too.

Joybringer
pairs well with... making up songs about the foods you're about to eat while you fill your plate
And if you don't have any Joybringer, we suggest... putting on a puppet show wherein you have the turkey carcass stage a Gallagher-style performance and messily smash the giblets with a potato

Blood of Krampus
pairs well with... speaking in rhyme for the entire day
And if you don't have any Blood of Krampus, we suggest... speaking in riddles for the entire day

Barrel-aged El Pulpo
pairs well with... happily shouting
And if you don't have any Barrel-aged El Pulpo, we suggest... angrily shouting

Funky Life
pairs well with... going a little wild on the hors d'oeuvres as a treat. You earned it!
And if you don't have any Funky Life, we suggest... reconfiguring the entire menu so that every item starts with "bacon-wrapped." And I do mean EVERY item. Make a bacon envelope so you can have bacon-wrapped cranberry sauce.

Quadless Leg Monster
pairs well with... saying "you know, in England they refer to this as 'pudding'" every time a new dish gets passed into your hands
And if you don't have any Quadless Leg Monster, we suggest... dipping your turkey in pudding 

The Gargoyle 
pairs well with... trying to convince people that turkey and peanut butter really do go well together (which they do)
and if you don't have any The Gargoyle, we suggest... making peanut butter gravy and then fleeing the scene before anyone tastes the abomination you have wrought upon this world

Organ Meats 
pairs well with... trying to "spice things up" by making your (in)famous ghost pepper sweet potatoes
and if you don't have any Organ Meats, we suggest... removing an item of clothing every time somebody complains about needing to wear a mask when out in public (and/or other covid-related precautions as you see fit)

The Sachem's Ale 
pairs well with... seeing how much weird/junk food you can cram into a casserole dish while still being able to convince people it's a "family tradition" (lookin at you, cream-of-mushroom-soup-green-bean-fried-onion casserole)
and if you don't have any The Sachem's Ale, we suggest... making a bunch of those savory Jell-O dishes from the 70s and serving them with a straight face

Yelling at Birds 
pairs well with... finding your most tinfoil-hat relative and getting them all wound up about whatever conspiracy theory they're shouting about this month
and if you don't have any Yelling at Birds, we suggest... subtly trying to convince your tinfoil-hat relative(s) that you're one of the Lizard People or whatever

Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus 
pairs well with... making a raspberry pie with an Oreo crust
and if you don't have any Barrel-aged Biere de Krampus, we suggest... crushing a bunch of Oreos and making Double Stuff Stuffing

Squash Everything 
pairs well with... making deep-fried versions of everything. Go all "Midwestern state fair" on your Thanksgiving
and if you don't have any Squash Everything, we suggest... gravy cocktails!

Emerald Spire 
pairs well with... pretending to be interested in watching The Game in order to get out of making small talk
and if you don't have any Emerald Spire, we suggest... getting out of small talk AND sports talk by cornering people into an exhaustive explanation of the recent drama on Spackle TikTok* (repeat as necessary until people are afraid to even make eye contact with you)

Menagerie 
pairs well with... making bacon-chocolate fudge
and if you don't have any Menagerie, we suggest... using pâté as frosting on a bunch of cupcakes

Green Smoothie 
pairs well with... deep-fried mashed potato balls
and if you don't have any Green Smoothie, we suggest... making a "deconstructed" Thanksgiving menu where you just replace all the traditional Thanksgiving foods with things that people actually want to eat** (fried chicken instead of turkey, sweet potato fries instead of candied yams, maybe come up with some kind of convoluted explanation for how pizza is "really a stand-in for stuffing and gravy," et cetera). 

Awkward Conversation
pairs well with... going all Winnie The Pooh on the cranberry sauce and eating it directly out of the can with your bare hand
and if you don't have any Awkward Conversation, we suggest... dressing like Winnie The Pooh

Critters IX 
pairs well with... Bulgarian feta. It has nothing to do with the holiday, but it's a really tasty pairing. 
and if you don't have any Critters IX, we suggest... going back to bed. 

Ginger Occasion 
pairs well with... biting your tongue when somebody asks "so when will you be having kids?"
and if you don't have any Ginger Occasion, we suggest... responding to all uncomfortable questions by saying "you know, that's a funny story" and then telling a very long story that goes nowhere (bonus points if, when people try to get you back on topic and/or change the subject, you say "oh hold on, I'm getting there" and then launch into a completely different pointless story)

Rakau 
pairs well with... volunteering to make the last-minute grocery store run to get out of helping around the house 
and if you don't have any Rakau, we suggest... getting the shopping list *ever* so slightly wrong so you have/get to go to the store repeatedly

Critters XIV 
pairs well with... insistently using the word "damp" in lieu of "moist" when talking about food
and if you don't have any Critters XIV, we suggest... trying to get out of IRL Turkey Day by constructing and sending a "Digital Avatar" that's really just an old iPhone taped to a skateboard

The Horned Beast 
pairs well with... trying to carve the turkey with a katana
and if you don't have any The Horned Beast, we suggest... trying to start a hoedown at the dinner table by playing the jug (empty wine bottle) and the spoons (ideally still covered in side-dishes) and insistently trying to convince others to join in and play your "spare fiddle" (you can leave this part out if you only brought one fiddle this year)

* Yes, this is a real thing. Or at least that's what we're told - we learned about it from reading Garbage Day like normal people.
** Some of you are probably saying "you're crazy! I love Thanksgiving food!" And yeah, sure, but if that's really the case then why do you only eat it once per year?
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©2014 - 2023 Bone Up Brewing Co., LLC.  All rights reserved. Contact us at info@boneup.beer
  • Home
  • Store
  • Taproom
    • Upcoming Events
    • Rent Our Space
    • Visit / FAQ
  • Beer Archive
    • Current Beers >
      • Barrel Aged El Pulpo
      • Barrel Aged No Light Ever
      • Chalk Outline
      • Critters (Mixed Fermentation Series)
      • Deathly Trails
      • El Pulpo
      • Embrace of Death
      • Empress in Decline
      • Extra Naked
      • Ghost Dragon
      • Ginger Spectacular
      • Hellmouth
      • Honey 'n' Hops
      • The Hourglass
      • Jazz From Hell
      • Man Overboard
      • Menagerie
      • Mirage Daze
      • Rumble Royale
      • Semi-Weekly Cask
      • Shut Up Kelly!
      • Trial Run
    • Beer Archive >
      • 100
      • 404: Recipe Not Found
      • Ad Nauseam
      • Adelle
      • The Airness
      • Armchair
      • Atlantica
      • Awkward Conversation
      • Azacca
      • Baby Monster
      • Barb
      • Barrel Aged Biere de Krampus
      • Barrel Aged Dark Humor
      • Beer of Truth
      • Believer
      • Belma
      • Benevolent Beast
      • Benthic Realm
      • Best
      • Biere de Krampus
      • Biere de Melons
      • Big Boots '17
      • Big Boots '18
      • Big Boots '19
      • Big Boots '20
      • Big deLICious
      • Bird Bath
      • Birthday Suit
      • Bison Penny
      • Black Witow
      • Blood Built
      • Blood of Krampus
      • Blue Manic
      • Bonanza
      • Bone Machine
      • Bone Smasher
      • Boneheads
      • Buffalo Nickel
      • Bullhead
      • Callisto
      • Cartwheels
      • Cello
      • Centennial
      • Champion of the Sun
      • Chance
      • Chaos
      • Chaos Reigns
      • Chaotic Gold
      • Chimera
      • Chromo
      • Clusterbomb
      • Come Out and Play
      • Comet Bomb
      • Comfy Pants
      • Cone Crusher
      • Control is in Your Command
      • Cosmic Showers of Love
      • CPHaze
      • Cryptic Nonsense
      • Crystal
      • Dance Bob
      • Danzig
      • Dark Humor
      • Dead Dry Eyes
      • Death Lullaby
      • Death Salon
      • D 'n A
      • DNA
      • Dobbie
      • Don't Go!
      • Doomrider
      • Double Key Lime
      • Doubleplusgood
      • Doyle
      • Dr. Dankenstein
      • Eclipse
      • El Azacuanot
      • Electric Juicer
      • Elmo
      • Embrace the Chaos
      • Emerald Spire
      • Estate
      • Everything is Peachy
      • Exiled From the Abyss
      • F.A.O.
      • Fancy Pants
      • Fermento-Tainment!
      • Fig Pig
      • Firekeeper
      • Fixation on Red Ale
      • Float Along
      • Fool's Paradise
      • Four Star Smoothie
      • Funky Life
      • Galena
      • Ganymede
      • The Gargoyle
      • Get Proud and Get Loud!
      • Ginger Disco
      • Ginger Extraordinaire
      • Ginger Jamboree
      • Ginger Occasion
      • Gnasher
      • The Great Equalizer
      • Green Smoothie
      • Green Smoothie (Redux)
      • The Gruncle
      • Guill O'Teen
      • Haley
      • Half the Time
      • Hartshorne
      • The Heist
      • Hench4Life
      • Henrietta
      • Hillcrest
      • History Mysteries
      • Hoopin'
      • Hop Chariot
      • Hop Wizard
      • The Horned Beast
      • I am the Island
      • I See a Dankness
      • Idaho 7
      • Into the Unknown
      • It's Like We Finish Each Other's...
      • J.A.R.E.D.
      • Jabber
      • Jam Session
      • Jaunty
      • Jeff
      • Jimbo Jaliper
      • Jodi
      • Josh
      • Joybringer
      • Joyrider
      • Kaboobi's Top Score
      • Kegasus
      • Key Lime
      • Korey
      • L.I.Z.
      • Late Grain
      • Lawbringer
      • Lawn Chair
      • Lazy Pants
      • Le Triumph!
      • Library
      • Life Sentence
      • Life Sentence II
      • Lil' Delicious
      • Lil' Goblin
      • Lil' Witeon
      • Los Aromos
      • Love Doctor
      • Madeline the Destroyer
      • Mag-nificent Chemistry
      • Mandarina Pale
      • Mandarinazacca
      • Mango Thango
      • Marimba
      • Maybe Saturday
      • Meesh Meesh
      • Melvin the Mammoth
      • Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Belgium)
      • Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Jamaica)
      • Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Kentucky)
      • Merry Go Round
      • Mild Child
      • Mo'Biscuits!
      • Monarch
      • Mr. Buttons
      • Multihead
      • Mystery Shack
      • Nameless Wave
      • Nerd Farm
      • NeverNude
      • Nick
      • No Light Ever
      • No Puns, Just Fun
      • Nug
      • Ocean
      • Oh My!
      • Oink!
      • Ol' Orange Eyes
      • On-On
      • Orange Red Dead
      • Organ Meats
      • Out of Bounds
      • Ozzy
      • Part Deux
      • Passion (Fruit) Project
      • Pat Signal
      • Pepite
      • Picnic Time
      • Pink Smoothie
      • Pizza Time!
      • Play Date
      • Pobody's Nerfect
      • Porcupine
      • Pounder
      • P.R.I.D.E.
      • Pre-Boil Dave
      • Pride and Pomegranate
      • Pretend It's Summer
      • The Protector
      • Pullover
      • Purple Smoothie
      • Quaddles
      • The Quadless Leg Monster
      • R.B.G.
      • Rakau
      • Rebello Fellow
      • Redeemer
      • The Royal Sampler
      • Ruby Rye
      • Rufus
      • Sabrobro
      • SaBRU
      • Sachem's Ale
      • ... Sandwiches!
      • Sato
      • Scatterbrau
      • Serendipity
      • Seven Xs
      • Shadows
      • Shelby
      • Shlem
      • Showdown
      • Sip Time
      • Sir Wallington
      • Skeleton Key
      • Smaltster
      • Snail the Pale
      • So Nude
      • Soiree
      • Something Brewed
      • Southern Star
      • Spacin' Out
      • Spirals
      • Splorge!
      • Springtime Lies
      • Spruce Moose
      • Squash Everything
      • Squash Your Enemies
      • Stag
      • Stick the Landing
      • Stomper
      • Stone Valley
      • Strut!
      • Summerween
      • Summit
      • Summoner
      • Sunday Plans
      • Sunken Wit
      • Super Jeff
      • Teamaker
      • Test Drive
      • Thrasher
      • TLA
      • To Have and to Hold (My Beer)
      • Treasure Hunt
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