Dang on a thang y'all, it's that time again! It's time for our long-awaited* Thanksgiving Beer Pairings wherein we tacitly suggest that - should you encounter a dinner table that does not have Bone Up on it - your only recourse is to act like a total sociopath. But! We got a whole buncha cool stuff comin' atcha before that (and our pairings are... extensive, so we should probably save them for the end), so buckle up and read on!
First on our list of fun and/or tasty times (other than the fact that Joyrider is on tap right now), we're followin' a new-to-us tradition for this year's Shitty Wednesday (i.e. the day before Turkey Day), and that tradition is bottles! We've already got some neat stuff in bottles, but we're right stoked about what's comin' up, so here's what's comin' out on Wednesday for our quadruple bottle release:
First up is Melvin the Mammoth! (AKAed as "Melvin the Mammoth (Stays Home)") Remember our lil' "barleywine" that we made last year? The one that was all fulla caramel and banana and goodness? Well it's been slumberin' away for a while and now it's back! In bottle form! (and on tap at some point)
Next up is... Melvin! More specifically, it's Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Kentucky) - we aged a whole buncha Melvin in some rye whiskey barrels (specifically Dad's Hat barrels), and it's been blended up and bottled up (and kegged up, for later times) and the flavor is fulla vanilla and toffee and WHISKEY and marshmallows (somehow) and it's ever so good!
And our next bottle is... Melvin! Noticing a theme here, yet? This one's Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Jamaica) and it - you guessed it - was aged in rum barrels for a good long while and it's got a nice fruity punch and a little bit of a molasses note and it almost tastes a little like baking spices (or perhaps fruitcake) and dang but it's tasty!
Last up for this week's bottle releases is... Los Aromos! Wait, no. It's Melvin! More to the point, it's Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Belgium), and this one here's a little different from the others. See, we had a ginger-focused strong farmhouse aging in rye barrels already, so we took that and blended it up with Melvin and it's all kindsa spicy and fruity and it's all-around "Belgian" but with a little bit of barrel peekin' in through the curtains and whoo-ee is it a delight!
Next up is... Melvin! More specifically, it's Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Kentucky) - we aged a whole buncha Melvin in some rye whiskey barrels (specifically Dad's Hat barrels), and it's been blended up and bottled up (and kegged up, for later times) and the flavor is fulla vanilla and toffee and WHISKEY and marshmallows (somehow) and it's ever so good!
And our next bottle is... Melvin! Noticing a theme here, yet? This one's Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Jamaica) and it - you guessed it - was aged in rum barrels for a good long while and it's got a nice fruity punch and a little bit of a molasses note and it almost tastes a little like baking spices (or perhaps fruitcake) and dang but it's tasty!
Last up for this week's bottle releases is... Los Aromos! Wait, no. It's Melvin! More to the point, it's Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Belgium), and this one here's a little different from the others. See, we had a ginger-focused strong farmhouse aging in rye barrels already, so we took that and blended it up with Melvin and it's all kindsa spicy and fruity and it's all-around "Belgian" but with a little bit of barrel peekin' in through the curtains and whoo-ee is it a delight!
Movin' right along through the week, it behooves us to mention that we'll be Closed on Thursday for gravy-related reasons.
And since we're closed on Thursday, that means we gotta tap our cask on Friday and this time around the cask is taproom-favorite Spruce Moose! We didn't think this beer needed any funny business to be delicious on cask, so we're servin' it up as-is with no extra nonsense!
Also on Friday we're welcomng a new (to us and to the world at large) pop-up: Brazen Eats! They'll be here slingin' vegan dumplings from 4-7, so come on by and say howdy and eat some treats!
Then on Sunday we're startin' the day with Nama-Sleigh! And in case that phrase doesn't mean anything to you (it doesn't mean much to me, and I'm the one who just wrote it), it means we're doin' Ugly Sweater Yoga startin' at 10:30 in the AM on Sunday! It's an all-levels bring-your-own-mat class and afterwards you get a beer! Buy tickets here: Ugly Sweater Yoga
And afterwards, we just so happened to find the perfect follow-up to doing yoga in an ugly sweater (it's also the perfect follow-up to not doing yoga in an ugly sweater) and that's cheese! Yes indeedy, it's time for us to put out another creamery of the month (and accompanying cheese flights) and this month it's Vermont Creamery! You've probably seen their cheeses in some of the finer cheese sections out there - odds are you'll see their packaging and say "oh yeah, it's that cheese that comes in a wooden box for some reason - but anyway we sat down with these ooey-gooey delectable cheeses (and one cheddar from Jasper Hill because we need a cheddar, dammit) and we got some foolproof right-as-rain beer pairings for you! We'll be doing flights on Sunday and again on Wednesday and cheese by the wedge will be available through the rest of the month! Cheese time!
Last up before we get to our yearly beer pairing extravaganza, we feel the need to point out that we're just over a month away from our favorite** made-up holiday: Horatio Day! On January 4th, we'll be settin' up a buncha extra draft lines fulla barrel-aged beers (including some old favorites and some newcomers) and there's gonna be bacon and cake and special swag and probably more than a couple people forgetting the concept of "indoor voices" and it's gonna be a blast and you should come!
Anyway. Moving on. It's time for Thanksgiving Beer pairings! We've written up this list once or twice before (though we did drop the ball in 2017. In our defense, that was a particularly hectic year for us), and we look forward to it every time and now you get to be a Thanksgiving All Star by following our proven*** pairings!
Extra Naked
pairs well with... wishing you hadn't eaten so much the previous day
and if you don't have any Extra Naked, we suggest... shame eating
Key Lime
pairs well with... just one more piece of pie
and if you don't have any Key Lime, we suggest... having two more pieces of pie
Wasted Life
pairs well with... a nap on the couch
and if you don't have any Wasted Life, we suggest... taking a nap anyway, albeit a less satisfying one
Shut Up Kelly!
pairs well with... ooOOOooh! Somebody brought fudge?!
and if you don't have any Shut Up Kelly, we suggest... trying to convince your elderly aunt to do shots of Allen's Coffee Brandy with you
Critters 1
pairs well with... making a mashed potato fort on your plate
And if you don't have any Critters 1, we suggest... building a trebuchet out of green beans and using it to fling cranberries across the table. Storm the castle!
Critters 3
pairs well with... eggs
And if you don't have any Critters 3, we suggest... EGGS
Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Belgium)
pairs well with... yoga, believe it or not
And if you don't have any Melvin Goes to Belgium, we suggest... throwing plates around the kitchen like some kind of poltergeist
Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Kentucky)
pairs well with... smoking weed in the garage after dinner
And if you don't have any Melvin Goes to Kentucky, we suggest... smoking weed in the garage before dinner
Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Jamaica)
pairs well with... making turkey-themed arts and crafts
And if you don't have any Melvin Goes to Jamaica, we suggest... showing up to dinner in full-on Puritan garb (bonus points if you try to stay in character)
Melvin the Mammoth (Stays Home)
pairs well with... feeding the dog under the table
And if you don't have any Melvin Stays Home, we suggest... abandoning the family meal to go hang out with the dog
Joybringer
pairs well with... making up songs about the foods you're about to eat while you fill your plate
And if you don't have any Joybringer, we suggest... putting on a puppet show wherein you have the turkey carcass stage a Gallagher-style performance and messily smash the giblets with a potato
Joyrider
pairs well with... compressing, shaping, and re-baking the stuffing to use as hard taco shells
And if you don't have any Joyrider, we suggest... pointing out each dish individually and making the argument that it "technically qualifies as a taco." Really fight to make your point. Make a chart if you have to.
Doomrider
pairs well with... trying to stack up three pies into one Megapie (also acceptable: Pie Sandwich) like you're friggin' Dagwood Bumstead or something
And if you don't have any Doomrider, we suggest... looking your younger sibling dead in the eye, snatching their (full) plate out of their hands, and eating the entire damn thing without breaking eye contact
El Pulpo
pairs well with... constructing increasingly-elaborate forts with your youngest relatives
And if you don't have any El Pulpo, we suggest... acting so erratically at the dinner table that you get banished to the kids' playroom to go watch Dumbo like six times in a row because that's somehow the only movie they have. Again.
Barrel-aged El Pulpo
pairs well with... happily shouting
And if you don't have any Barrel-aged El Pulpo, we suggest... angrily shouting
Spruce Moose
pairs well with... yams
And if you don't have any Spruce Moose, we suggest... saying "yams" out loud a lot. It's fun to say.
Wellington
pairs well with... pretending you know what a "Gronk" is when you're talking to your uncles (and also how it relates to goats?)
And if you don't have any Wellington, we suggest... turning the tables by excitedly rambling about metal bands while only referring to the artists by their nicknames
Mandarinazacca
pairs well with... quietly struggling through the extremely awkward "what I'm thankful for" portion of a Friendsgiving full of people you only sort of know
And if you don't have any Mandarinazacca, we suggest... interrupting each person's declaration of thanks with whale facts
Los Aromos
pairs well with... gravy-based foods (we're lookin' at you, New Orleans)
And if you don't have any Los Aromos, we suggest... drinking straight gravy until you go into a Gravy Coma
BoNanza
pairs well with... eating an entire pie and then going back for more
And if you don't have any BoNanza, we suggest... pretending that you started smoking so you have lots of excuses to go outside and eat SECRET PIE
Half the Time
pairs well with... turkey sandwiches with Honeycup mustard and peanut butter. No, seriously.
And if you don't have any Half the Time, we suggest... taking a good hard look at the circumstances in your life that brought you to this moment.
Extra Naked
pairs well with... wishing you hadn't eaten so much the previous day
and if you don't have any Extra Naked, we suggest... shame eating
Key Lime
pairs well with... just one more piece of pie
and if you don't have any Key Lime, we suggest... having two more pieces of pie
Wasted Life
pairs well with... a nap on the couch
and if you don't have any Wasted Life, we suggest... taking a nap anyway, albeit a less satisfying one
Shut Up Kelly!
pairs well with... ooOOOooh! Somebody brought fudge?!
and if you don't have any Shut Up Kelly, we suggest... trying to convince your elderly aunt to do shots of Allen's Coffee Brandy with you
Critters 1
pairs well with... making a mashed potato fort on your plate
And if you don't have any Critters 1, we suggest... building a trebuchet out of green beans and using it to fling cranberries across the table. Storm the castle!
Critters 3
pairs well with... eggs
And if you don't have any Critters 3, we suggest... EGGS
Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Belgium)
pairs well with... yoga, believe it or not
And if you don't have any Melvin Goes to Belgium, we suggest... throwing plates around the kitchen like some kind of poltergeist
Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Kentucky)
pairs well with... smoking weed in the garage after dinner
And if you don't have any Melvin Goes to Kentucky, we suggest... smoking weed in the garage before dinner
Melvin the Mammoth (Goes to Jamaica)
pairs well with... making turkey-themed arts and crafts
And if you don't have any Melvin Goes to Jamaica, we suggest... showing up to dinner in full-on Puritan garb (bonus points if you try to stay in character)
Melvin the Mammoth (Stays Home)
pairs well with... feeding the dog under the table
And if you don't have any Melvin Stays Home, we suggest... abandoning the family meal to go hang out with the dog
Joybringer
pairs well with... making up songs about the foods you're about to eat while you fill your plate
And if you don't have any Joybringer, we suggest... putting on a puppet show wherein you have the turkey carcass stage a Gallagher-style performance and messily smash the giblets with a potato
Joyrider
pairs well with... compressing, shaping, and re-baking the stuffing to use as hard taco shells
And if you don't have any Joyrider, we suggest... pointing out each dish individually and making the argument that it "technically qualifies as a taco." Really fight to make your point. Make a chart if you have to.
Doomrider
pairs well with... trying to stack up three pies into one Megapie (also acceptable: Pie Sandwich) like you're friggin' Dagwood Bumstead or something
And if you don't have any Doomrider, we suggest... looking your younger sibling dead in the eye, snatching their (full) plate out of their hands, and eating the entire damn thing without breaking eye contact
El Pulpo
pairs well with... constructing increasingly-elaborate forts with your youngest relatives
And if you don't have any El Pulpo, we suggest... acting so erratically at the dinner table that you get banished to the kids' playroom to go watch Dumbo like six times in a row because that's somehow the only movie they have. Again.
Barrel-aged El Pulpo
pairs well with... happily shouting
And if you don't have any Barrel-aged El Pulpo, we suggest... angrily shouting
Spruce Moose
pairs well with... yams
And if you don't have any Spruce Moose, we suggest... saying "yams" out loud a lot. It's fun to say.
Wellington
pairs well with... pretending you know what a "Gronk" is when you're talking to your uncles (and also how it relates to goats?)
And if you don't have any Wellington, we suggest... turning the tables by excitedly rambling about metal bands while only referring to the artists by their nicknames
Mandarinazacca
pairs well with... quietly struggling through the extremely awkward "what I'm thankful for" portion of a Friendsgiving full of people you only sort of know
And if you don't have any Mandarinazacca, we suggest... interrupting each person's declaration of thanks with whale facts
Los Aromos
pairs well with... gravy-based foods (we're lookin' at you, New Orleans)
And if you don't have any Los Aromos, we suggest... drinking straight gravy until you go into a Gravy Coma
BoNanza
pairs well with... eating an entire pie and then going back for more
And if you don't have any BoNanza, we suggest... pretending that you started smoking so you have lots of excuses to go outside and eat SECRET PIE
Half the Time
pairs well with... turkey sandwiches with Honeycup mustard and peanut butter. No, seriously.
And if you don't have any Half the Time, we suggest... taking a good hard look at the circumstances in your life that brought you to this moment.
* By us. Seriously, this is easily one of our Top 3 favorite blog posts to write (though the overall winner has got to be January's "Year in Numbers" posts)
** Maybe second favorite if you count our anniversary as a made up holiday, but we don't. That one's a real holiday.
*** We've done more field testing on these than you'd think, but some of the pairings might not be totally bulletproof.
** Maybe second favorite if you count our anniversary as a made up holiday, but we don't. That one's a real holiday.
*** We've done more field testing on these than you'd think, but some of the pairings might not be totally bulletproof.
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